{"id":41,"date":"2015-05-18T14:27:40","date_gmt":"2015-05-18T14:27:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=41"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:09:53","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:09:53","slug":"acceptarea-pozitiva-neconditionata","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/acceptarea-pozitiva-neconditionata\/","title":{"rendered":"Acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 – sau cum s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti f\u0103r\u0103 \u201edac\u0103\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Empatia, a\u0219a cum este ea \u00een\u021beleas\u0103 \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103<\/a>, merge m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 cu ceva care la o prim\u0103 impresie ar putea p\u0103rea ciudat, exagerat, supraevaluat: acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103. Este o al\u0103turare de termeni care sfideaz\u0103 pu\u021bin logica – poate fi acceptarea \u0219i negativ\u0103? – \u0219i care duce cu g\u00e2ndul la iubirea necondi\u021bionat\u0103. Ce reprezint\u0103, mai exact, acest concept \u0219i care este rolul lui \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103? Ei bine, acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 merit\u0103 cu prisosin\u021b\u0103 un articol doar al ei, ca s\u0103 putem \u00eenl\u0103tura multele ne\u00een\u021belegeri care se pot str\u00e2nge \u00een juru-i, \u0219i ca s\u0103-i recunoa\u0219tem importan\u021ba cov\u00e2r\u0219itoare pe care o are nu numai \u00een procesul psihoterapeutic, dar \u0219i \u00een cel de cre\u0219tere \u0219i dezvoltare \u00een general.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, de ce aceast\u0103 formulare? Carl Rogers numea conceptul, \u00een limba lui, \u201duncondional positive regard\u201d – care s-ar traduce mot \u00e0 mot cu \u201eprivire pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103\u201d. \u00centre \u201eprivire \u201d \u0219i \u201eacceptare\u201d, trebuie s\u0103 recunoa\u0219tem, este o diferen\u021b\u0103 destul de mare… la o prim\u0103 vedere. De fapt, dac\u0103 lu\u0103m \u00een calcul ceea ce \u00een\u021belegea Rogers prin acest concept, diferen\u021ba dintre cei doi termeni se reduce sim\u021bitor.<\/p>\n

Acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 este o atitudine prin care o persoan\u0103 manifest\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de o alta – sau fa\u021b\u0103 de sine – grij\u0103, aten\u021bie, respect, c\u0103ldur\u0103 afectiv\u0103 \u0219i bucurie de a fi. Este o recunoa\u0219tere profund\u0103 a dreptului la existen\u021b\u0103 liber\u0103, autonom\u0103, \u0219i o valorizare a persoanei pentru c\u0103 este (a\u0219a cum este). Rogers folosea cuv\u00e2ntul \u201dregard\u201d, privire, pentru c\u0103 este o luare de pozi\u021bie, bazal\u0103, din principiu, fa\u021b\u0103 de ceva. Aceast\u0103 luare de pozi\u021bie se refer\u0103 \u00eens\u0103 la acceptarea celuilalt – sau a propriei persoane – \u00een sensul descris mai sus. Deci traducerea \u00een rom\u00e2n\u0103 se apropie mai mult de \u00een\u021belesul dat de Rogers acestui concept dec\u00e2t de logica folosirii cuvintelor \u00een limb\u0103. Totodat\u0103, cuv\u00e2ntul \u201epozitiv\u0103\u201d, care pare redundant, a fost totu\u0219i p\u0103strat pentru a accentua faptul c\u0103 acceptarea aceasta de care vorbim necesit\u0103 \u00een acela\u0219i timp prezen\u021b\u0103 \u0219i apreciere.<\/p>\n

Dar de ce este necesar ca acest tip de acceptare (existen\u021bial\u0103, a\u0219 putea spune) s\u0103 fie \u0219i necondi\u021bionat\u0103? Sau, o alt\u0103 fa\u021bet\u0103 a \u00eentreb\u0103rii ar fi: nu este acceptarea de acest fel \u00eentotdeauna necondi\u021bionat\u0103? Ar fi minunat dac\u0103 ar fi a\u0219a! Probabil c\u0103 nu am avea (aproape) niciodat\u0103 nevoie de psihoterapie! Realitatea \u00eens\u0103 este cu totul alta. De fapt, acest tip de acceptare, care este vital pentru dezvoltarea noastr\u0103 armonioas\u0103, este mult mai rar \u00eent\u00e2lnit dec\u00e2t am crede. De cele mai multe ori primim pe cineva \u00een apropierea noastr\u0103 \u0219i \u00eei oferim \u00een\u021belegere, grij\u0103 \u0219i respect pentru c\u0103 ne sim\u021bim bine \u00een preajma lui\/ei, pentru c\u0103 are anumite tr\u0103s\u0103turi pe care le valoriz\u0103m, pentru c\u0103 face lucrurile \u00eentr-un fel care ne place, ne face bine sau pe care \u00eel admir\u0103m \u0219.a.m.d. Foarte, foarte rar se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 s\u0103 ne sim\u021bim grijulii fa\u021b\u0103 de cineva cu care nu suntem de acord, de exemplu. De obicei, impunem condi\u021bii – tacite sau exprimate clar \u0219i r\u0103spicat: te tratez cu respect dac\u0103 te por\u021bi conform anumitor norme sociale; te ascult dac\u0103 ceea ce ai de zis se potrive\u0219te cu felul \u00een care \u00een\u021beleg eu lumea; te pre\u021buiesc dac\u0103 faci ceva (ce eu sau al\u021bii consider\u0103m c\u0103 este) deosebit; te iubesc dac\u0103 …<\/p>\n

P\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103, astfel de condi\u021bii se pot traduce printr-una singur\u0103, foarte puternic\u0103: eu sunt v\u0103zut\/\u0103, auzit\/\u0103, iubit\/\u0103, acceptat\/\u0103, valorizat\/\u0103, recunoscut\/\u0103 – exist – dac\u0103 sunt \u00eentr-un anume fel, specificat de ceilal\u021bi (\u0219i apoi, eventual, interiorizat). Desigur, de cele mai multe ori aceast\u0103 condi\u021bionare nu se refer\u0103, din fericire, la \u00eentreaga noastr\u0103 persoan\u0103, ci la anumite dimensiuni ale ei. De pild\u0103, nu pot s\u0103 pl\u00e2ng pentru c\u0103 asta \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 sunt slab\u0103, \u0219i deci nu merit respect \u0219i aten\u021bie; nu pot s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eenfurii pe cineva pentru c\u0103 trebuie s\u0103 fiu tot timpul dr\u0103gu\u021b\u0103 \u0219i atent\u0103, pentru a putea primi iubire \u0219i \u00een\u021belegere; sau trebuie s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b tot timpul perfect, ca s\u0103 fiu considerat\u0103 important\u0103. Condi\u021biile de valorizare ne limiteaz\u0103 \u0219i ne \u021bin tot timpul \u00een priz\u0103, mereu aler\u021bi s\u0103 nu c\u0103lc\u0103m str\u00e2mb… Dar mai multe despre ele \u00eentr-un articol viitor.<\/p>\n

Totu\u0219i, unul dintre lucrurile important de \u0219tiut despre condi\u021biile de valorizare este c\u0103 ele sunt inevitabile. \u0218i atunci, c\u00e2nd intr\u0103m \u00eentr-o rela\u021bie \u00een care suntem accepta\u021bi pur \u0219i simplu, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 fim sau s\u0103 facem lucrurile \u00eentr-un anumit fel, de cele mai multe ori suntem ne\u00eencrez\u0103tori. Dar dac\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama c\u0103 cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103 este cu adev\u0103rat sincer\u0103 \u00een atitudinea ei fa\u021b\u0103 de noi, ne putem relaxa. Toat\u0103 energia care era folosit\u0103 pentru a \u00eendeplini condi\u021biile de valorizare poate fi de acum \u00eendreptat\u0103 spre rezolvarea de probleme, spre cre\u0219tere \u0219i dezvoltare, sau spre orice altceva avem nevoie sau ne dorim \u00een momentul respectiv. Acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 ne elibereaz\u0103, ne permite s\u0103 ne d\u0103m seama ce este mai bine pentru noi, ne las\u0103 s\u0103 fim noi \u00een\u0219ine \u0219i ne \u00eencurajeaz\u0103 s\u0103 ne atingem poten\u021bialul.<\/p>\n

Este limpede acum c\u00e2t de important\u0103 este acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 nu numai pentru psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103, dar \u0219i pentru dezvoltarea noastr\u0103 ca persoane. \u00cen plus, nu putem fi empatici, \u00een sens rogersian, f\u0103r\u0103 acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 \u0219i este greu s\u0103 accept\u0103m pozitiv necondi\u021bionat pe cineva f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 fim empatici. \u0218i aici, cu ajutorul conceptului de empatie, pot face o distinc\u021bie esen\u021bial\u0103 \u00eentre acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 \u0219i permisivitatea total\u0103.<\/p>\n

Dac\u0103 am acceptare pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de cineva nu \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 \u00eei \u0219i aprob comportamentul, sau c\u0103 sunt de acord cu ideile pe care le are. La fel ca \u0219i empatia, pentru a fi eficient\u0103 acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 are nevoie s\u0103 presupun\u0103 o diferen\u021b\u0103, o distan\u021b\u0103, \u00eentre persoane – ceea ce o face at\u00e2t de special\u0103 \u0219i de valoroas\u0103 este tocmai faptul c\u0103 exist\u0103 \u00een ciuda diferen\u021bei, a alterit\u0103\u021bii. \u00centr-un fel, chiar dac\u0103 implic\u0103 persoana la un nivel profund, acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 este o atitudine care se refer\u0103 la lucruri mai generale dec\u00e2t preferin\u021bele sau nevoile personale. Prin ea sunt respectate integritatea, limitele \u0219i specificitatea – fie ale cuiva cu care interac\u021bionez, sau ale mele proprii.<\/p>\n

\u0218i aici e partea cea mai frumoas\u0103 a accept\u0103rii pozitive necondi\u021bionate: sim\u021bind-o din partea altcuiva o putem sim\u021bi \u0219i fa\u021b\u0103 de noi \u00een\u0219ine, \u0219i apoi o putem sim\u021bi \u0219i noi mai departe, fa\u021b\u0103 de altcineva. Este ceva ce putem \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba \u0219i ce putem transmite.<\/p>\n

P.S.: \u00cen timp ce scriam articolul, mi-am adus aminte de o \u00eent\u00e2mplare de c\u00e2nd eram mai mic\u0103. Era sear\u0103, probabil destul de t\u00e2rziu, \u0219i eu scriam pe ultima sut\u0103 de metri o tem\u0103, sau \u00eencercam s\u0103 mai \u00eenv\u0103\u021b ceva, pentru c\u0103 a doua zi m\u0103 asculta sau d\u0103deam lucrare de control – nu mai \u0219tiu. Eram, \u00een orice caz, foarte agitat\u0103 \u0219i \u00eengrijorat\u0103 pentru a doua zi. La un moment dat, \u021bin minte c\u0103 a venit mama la mine \u00een camer\u0103, a v\u0103zut \u00een ce stare eram, \u0219i mi-a spus c\u0103 pentru ea nu conteaz\u0103 ce not\u0103 urma s\u0103 iau, pentru c\u0103 ea \u0219tie c\u0103 sunt de\u0219teapt\u0103 \u0219i e mai important s\u0103 fiu s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 (\u0219i s\u0103 dorm bine) dec\u00e2t o not\u0103 la \u0219coal\u0103 (\u0219i c\u0103 oricum m\u0103 iube\u0219te). Ini\u021bial am fost foarte sceptic\u0103, mi se p\u0103rea foarte dubios: cum adic\u0103 nu conteaz\u0103 ce not\u0103 iau?! Dar mi-am dat seama c\u0103 vorbea serios, \u0219i m-am lini\u0219tit. Acum nu mai \u021bin minte ce not\u0103 am luat \u00een ziua cu pricina (am trecut cu bine prin \u0219coal\u0103, oricum), dar \u0219tiu c\u0103 de atunci am putut s\u0103 am o alt\u0103 atitudine fa\u021b\u0103 de \u0219coal\u0103. Parc\u0103 nu mai at\u00e2rna at\u00e2t de mult de cum m\u0103 descurcam acolo, \u0219i conta mai mult s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2n cu lucruri care s\u0103-mi prind\u0103 mie bine. A fost foarte pl\u0103cut. \ud83d\ude42<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Empatia, a\u0219a cum este ea \u00een\u021beleas\u0103 \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103, merge m\u00e2n\u0103 \u00een m\u00e2n\u0103 cu ceva care la o prim\u0103 impresie ar putea p\u0103rea ciudat, exagerat, supraevaluat: acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103. Este o al\u0103turare de termeni care sfideaz\u0103 pu\u021bin logica – poate fi acceptarea \u0219i negativ\u0103? – \u0219i care duce cu g\u00e2ndul la iubirea necondi\u021bionat\u0103. … Continue reading Acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 – sau cum s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti f\u0103r\u0103 \u201edac\u0103\u201d<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2,1],"tags":[17,22,18,23,3],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAcceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 - cum s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti f\u0103r\u0103 \u201edac\u0103\u201d<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Acceptarea pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103 este un concept cheie pentru psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103. 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