{"id":36,"date":"2015-04-20T15:34:16","date_gmt":"2015-04-20T15:34:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=36"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:07:53","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:07:53","slug":"empatia-ce-are-specific","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/empatia-ce-are-specific\/","title":{"rendered":"Empatia – ce are ea specific?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Data trecut\u0103 am scris despre empatie, a\u015fa cum este ea \u00een\u0163eleas\u0103 \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103<\/a>. Era vorba despre un proces care are la baz\u0103 o atitudine de deschidere \u015fi c\u0103ldur\u0103, prin care putem \u00een\u0163elege lumea cuiva ca \u015fi cum ar fi a noastr\u0103. Toate bune \u015fi frumoase, \u00eens\u0103 nu facem asta \u015fi atunci c\u00e2nd simpatiz\u0103m cu cineva? Sau c\u00e2nd ne identific\u0103m cu tr\u0103irile celuilalt? Sau c\u00e2nd sim\u0163im mil\u0103, de pild\u0103? Ei bine, nu. Empatia, simpatia, identificarea \u015fi mila sunt lucruri foarte diferite \u00eentre ele \u015fi consider c\u0103 e important s\u0103 nu le confund\u0103m una cu cealalt\u0103, pentru c\u0103 fiecare porne\u015fte din tr\u0103iri diferite \u015fi duce la rezultate diferite.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Voi \u00eencepe cu mila, pentru c\u0103 fa\u0163\u0103 de ea am impresia c\u0103 distinc\u0163ia este cel mai u\u015for de f\u0103cut. \u00cen primul r\u00e2nd, mila este o emo\u0163ie, iar empatia este o atitudine; mila este ceva static, ceva ce sim\u0163im la un moment dat, iar empatia este un proces, ceva ce are desf\u0103\u015furare \u00een timp. \u00cen al doilea r\u00e2nd, mila se aplic\u0103 doar \u00een situa\u0163iile pe care le percepem ca fiind nefericite \u00eentr-un fel sau altul, pe c\u00e2nd empatia nu \u0163ine cont de valoarea pe care o d\u0103m unei experien\u0163e. Dar cel mai important, mila pleac\u0103 de la presupunerea c\u0103 \u201edac\u0103 eu a\u015f fi \u00een situa\u0163ia \u00een care este acel om (sau animal, sau copac etc.) nu m-a\u015f putea descurca\u201d. Da, mila presupune empatie \u00een m\u0103sura \u00een care ne d\u0103m seama de ce tr\u0103ie\u015fte cel\u0103lalt, dar pentru c\u0103 este o situa\u0163ie greu de suportat pentru noi, nu putem s\u0103 percepem \u00eentreaga lui lume, ci avem o percep\u0163ie fragmentat\u0103 care \u00eel reduce pe cel\u0103lalt doar la neputin\u0163a lui din acel moment. De multe ori chiar, mila aduce cu sine un blocaj: nu vrem s\u0103 \u015ftim mai multe despre lumea celuilalt pentru c\u0103 \u015fi a\u015fa este greu de suportat. A\u015fadar mila poate fi uneori un obstacol \u00een calea empatiei.<\/p>\n

Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 \u00eens\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd ne place de cineva sau c\u00e2nd agre\u0103m situa\u0163ia \u00een care se afl\u0103? Care este diferen\u0163a dintre simpatie \u015fi empatie? Noul dic\u0163ionar explicativ al limbii rom\u00e2ne spune despre verbul “a simpatiza<\/a>” c\u0103 \u00eenseamn\u0103 “a trata cu simpatie, a agrea” \u015fi “a se plasa pe acelea\u015fi pozi\u0163ii; a fi de acord”. Oare nu este important ca atunci c\u00e2nd empatizezi cu o persoan\u0103 s\u0103-\u0163i \u015fi plac\u0103 de ea, sau s\u0103 fii de acord cu lucrurile despre care vorbe\u015fte? Simpatia implic\u0103 o preferin\u0163\u0103 \u015fi o reac\u0163ie afectiv\u0103 pozitiv\u0103, care pot fi utile atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegem empatic pe cineva, dar numai atunci c\u00e2nd vizeaz\u0103 persoana \u00een modul cel mai general uman, existen\u0163ial.<\/p>\n

\u00cen momentul \u00een care simpatiz\u0103m ne exprim\u0103m de fapt o p\u0103rere proprie: ie\u015fim din lumea celuilalt \u015fi \u00eel privim prin filtrul nostru. Dac\u0103 simpatia ar fi empatie, sau ar fi o component\u0103 a empatiei, ce s-ar \u00eent\u00e2mpla \u00een lipsa ei? Ce s-ar \u00eent\u00e2mpla dac\u0103, de exemplu, nu am fi de acord cu ceva ce a f\u0103cut persoana cu care \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 empatiz\u0103m? Am empatiza mai pu\u0163in, sau deloc? \u015ei apoi, mai este cazul \u00een care simpatiz\u0103m cu cineva necunoscut, doar pentru c\u0103 auzim despre el sau ea c\u0103 trece printr-o experien\u0163\u0103 care nu ne las\u0103 indiferen\u0163i – f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegem ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 experien\u0163a respectiv\u0103 pentru ea sau el, cum o tr\u0103ie\u015fte. Suntem empatici atunci c\u00e2nd facem asta? Suntem, dar numai dac\u0103 alegem s\u0103 d\u0103m empatiei sensul larg despre care vorbeam \u00een primul articol dedicat ei – de capacitate de a \u00een\u0163elege ce tr\u0103ie\u015fte cineva. Dac\u0103 pornim \u00eens\u0103 de la premisa c\u0103 empatia este un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie, a\u015fa cum este ea \u00een\u0163eleas\u0103 \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103, atunci r\u0103spunsul nu poate fi dec\u00e2t unul singur: simpatia \u015fi empatia sunt diferite \u015fi independente una de cealalt\u0103. S\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegem empatic pe cineva \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 ne l\u0103s\u0103m deoparte, pentru un timp, propriile p\u0103reri, preferin\u0163e \u015fi valori, \u015fi s\u0103 le adopt\u0103m pe ale celui cu care empatiz\u0103m. S\u0103 l\u0103s\u0103m la o parte, adic\u0103, motivele pentru care am simpatiza (cu) persoana din fa\u0163a noastr\u0103.<\/p>\n

Ce se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 \u00eens\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd o experien\u0163\u0103 de via\u0163\u0103 a celuilalt pare foarte, foarte asem\u0103n\u0103toare cu ceva ce am tr\u0103it noi \u00een\u015fine? C\u00e2nd lumea celuilalt \u015fi a noastr\u0103 par aproape identice? Oare nu este aceasta culmea empatiei – s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegem lumea celuilalt \u00een asemenea m\u0103sur\u0103 \u00eenc\u00e2t s\u0103 ne putem transpune \u00een ea, s\u0103 ne putem identifica? De fapt, aceasta este una dintre “capcanele” din drumul spre empatie. Identificarea presupune pierderea acelui “ca \u015fi cum” despre care spunea Carl Rogers, \u015fi care este esen\u0163ial pentru empatie. Atunci c\u00e2nd ne identific\u0103m cu cineva ceea ce facem de fapt este s\u0103 p\u0103r\u0103sim lumea celuilalt \u015fi s\u0103 intr\u0103m \u00eentr-a noastr\u0103: presupunem c\u0103 ceea ce tr\u0103ie\u015fte cel\u0103lalt este identic cu ceva ce am tr\u0103it noi \u015fi sc\u0103p\u0103m din vedere acele nuan\u0163e subtile care fac experien\u0163a lui s\u0103 fie unic\u0103 \u015fi irepetabil\u0103; sc\u0103p\u0103m din vedere semnifica\u0163iile pe care cel\u0103lalt le d\u0103 experien\u0163ei prin care a trecut \u015fi i le asociem pe ale noastre. Lucrul asupra c\u0103ruia ne \u00eendrept\u0103m aten\u0163ia nu mai este lumea celuilalt, ci propria noastr\u0103 lume.<\/p>\n

Am citit de cur\u00e2nd un text despre empatie scris de Peter F. Schmid, care printre altele este unul dintre membrii fondatori ai Asocia\u0163iei Mondiale pentru Psihoterapie \u015fi Consiliere Centrat\u0103 pe Persoan\u0103 \u015fi Experien\u0163ial\u0103<\/a>, \u00een care scria c\u0103 “empatia este o punte. Ea leag\u0103 spa\u0163iul dintre diferen\u0163e, dintre persoane – f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 elimine spa\u0163iul, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ignore diferen\u0163ele; nu pretinde identitatea dintre cele dou\u0103, nici nu renun\u0163\u0103 \u00een fa\u0163a diversit\u0103\u0163ii; nu amestec\u0103 ceea ce este diferit \u015fi nu se d\u0103 b\u0103tut\u0103 la vederea ad\u00e2ncimilor Celuilalt – ea creaz\u0103 o punte de leg\u0103tur\u0103.” (1)<\/span>. Atunci c\u00e2nd ne identific\u0103m cu lumea celuilalt elimin\u0103m acel spa\u0163iu de care vorbea Peter F. Schmid, nu-l mai vedem pe cel\u0103lalt \u015fi intr\u0103m \u00een schimb \u00eentr-o experien\u0163\u0103 pe care, fiind \u00een mijlocul ei, nu o putem percepe pe de-a-ntregul. Avem nevoie de distan\u0163\u0103 ca s\u0103 vedem clar. Dac\u0103 suntem prea aproape, percepem fragmentar – la fel ca \u015fi \u00een cazul milei, \u00eens\u0103 de data asta de la polul opus (acolo eram prea departe).<\/p>\n

Poate este mai clar acum, odat\u0103 a\u015fezat\u0103 al\u0103turi de mil\u0103, simpatie \u015fi identificare, care sunt tr\u0103s\u0103turile specifice ale empatiei \u015fi de ce este ea at\u00e2t de special\u0103 \u015fi valoroas\u0103. Niciuna dintre celelalte tr\u0103iri, de\u015fi apropiate, nu \u00eel ia \u00een considerare pe Cel\u0103lalt cu at\u00e2ta deschidere \u015fi seriozitate. Empatia singur\u0103 presupune un fel de coabitare momentan\u0103; un \u201ea fi \u00eempreun\u0103\u201d, de la egal la egal, care tocmai prin faptul c\u0103 permite unei persoane s\u0103 viziteze lumea altcuiva f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 se r\u0103t\u0103ceasc\u0103 sau s\u0103 dispere sau s\u0103 se sperie, sau s\u0103 fie cu des\u0103v\u00e2r\u015fire fermecat, \u00eei permite acelui altcineva s\u0103 poat\u0103 face \u015fi el acela\u015fi lucru \u2013 s\u0103-\u015fi vad\u0103, s\u0103-\u015fi cunoasc\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103-\u015fi accepte propria lume, a\u015fa cum este ea. O rela\u0163ie care are la baz\u0103 empatia este una care \u00eencurajeaz\u0103 cre\u015fterea, autonomia, maturizarea. Desigur, pentru a fi \u015fi terapeutic\u0103, empatia singur\u0103 nu este suficient\u0103 – dar este una dintre condi\u0163iile absolut necesare pentru aceasta.<\/p>\n

(1): Rogers’ Therapeutic Conditions: Evolution, Theory and Practice; Volume 2: Empathy<\/em> edited by Sheila Haugh and Tony Merry PCCS Books, 2001, p.62. Traducerea \u00eemi apar\u0163ine.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Data trecut\u0103 am scris despre empatie, a\u015fa cum este ea \u00een\u0163eleas\u0103 \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103. Era vorba despre un proces care are la baz\u0103 o atitudine de deschidere \u015fi c\u0103ldur\u0103, prin care putem \u00een\u0163elege lumea cuiva ca \u015fi cum ar fi a noastr\u0103. Toate bune \u015fi frumoase, \u00eens\u0103 nu facem asta \u015fi atunci c\u00e2nd … Continue reading Empatia – ce are ea specific?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[12,21,20,19],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nEmpatia - ce are ea specific? - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Empatia este un proces care caracterizeaz\u0103 un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie, bazat pe o atitudine de deschidere \u015fi c\u0103ldur\u0103. 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