{"id":310,"date":"2018-10-30T12:11:22","date_gmt":"2018-10-30T10:11:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=310"},"modified":"2020-04-21T16:47:45","modified_gmt":"2020-04-21T13:47:45","slug":"psihoterapia-ca-un-paratrasnet","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/psihoterapia-ca-un-paratrasnet\/","title":{"rendered":"Psihoterapia ca un paratr\u0103snet"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Una dintre \u00eentreb\u0103rile pe care le primesc cel mai des este cum reu\u0219esc s\u0103 fac fa\u021b\u0103, dac\u0103 nu cumva m\u0103 cople\u0219esc, apas\u0103 \u0219i urm\u0103resc greut\u0103\u021bile clien\u021bilor mei. De cele mai multe ori, oamenii care m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 asta se g\u00e2ndesc cu \u00eengrijorare \u0219i compasiune la mine, e o \u00eentrebare care vine pe aripile empatiei. Adev\u0103rul e c\u0103 o parte fundamental\u0103 din preg\u0103tirea mea ca psihoterapeut a avut (\u0219i are \u00een continuare)<\/span> de-a face cu asta, \u0219i lucrul despre care \u00eentreab\u0103 este mai complex dec\u00e2t ar putea s\u0103 par\u0103. Dar pe scurt, cred c\u0103 psihoterapia, prin rela\u021bia psihoterapeutic\u0103 pe care se bazeaz\u0103, este \u00een anumite privin\u021be ca un fel de paratr\u0103snet: poate s\u0103 primeasc\u0103 desc\u0103rc\u0103ri emo\u021bionale majore \u0219i s\u0103 ofere \u00eemp\u0103m\u00e2ntare, f\u0103r\u0103 ca impactul unor asemenea energii s\u0103 fie devastator. Acest articol este o \u00eencercare de a le r\u0103spunde mai pe larg celor care m-au \u00eentrebat, \u0219i un argument pentru psihoterapie.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Cred c\u0103 am fost din totdeauna o persoan\u0103 emotiv\u0103. Foarte mult\u0103 vreme via\u021ba mea emo\u021bional\u0103 era principala mea preocupare \u0219i nu existau lucruri mai de pre\u021b sau mai semnificative (poate exagerez un pic, dar nu mult) <\/span>dec\u00e2t emo\u021biile – ale mele \u0219i (mai ales)<\/span> ale persoanelor cu care eram \u00een rela\u021bii importante. Eram \u00eentotdeauna foarte atent\u0103 la cum se simte lumea \u00een jurul meu, \u0219i \u00een general judecam foarte mult prin prisma emo\u021biilor. Totul era bine dac\u0103 st\u0103rile emo\u021bionale erau \u201epozitive\u201d – din zona bucuriei, entuziasmului, relax\u0103rii – \u0219i m\u0103 \u00eengrijoram \u0219i sup\u0103ram dac\u0103 ele erau \u201enegative\u201d – cele care duceau \u00eenspre triste\u021be, furie, ru\u0219ine (am folosit ghilimelele pentru c\u0103 acum nu mai cred c\u0103 emo\u021biile pot fi categorisite valoric)<\/span>. Persoanele care tr\u0103iau emo\u021bii intense m\u0103 fascinau, la fel ca \u0219i arta care scotea emo\u021biile mult \u00een eviden\u021b\u0103 (romantismul<\/a> \u0219i expresionismul<\/a> au fost mult\u0103 vreme curentele mele preferate)<\/span>. Activit\u0103\u021bile pe care le f\u0103ceam \u0219i zilele cu totul \u00eemi p\u0103reau pr\u0103fuite \u0219i nesemnificative dac\u0103 nu erau \u00eenso\u021bite de emo\u021bii puternice, indiferent de natura lor.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Tocmai de aceea, atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eent\u00e2lneam pe cineva care trecea printr-o perioad\u0103 intens\u0103 emo\u021bional, eram iremediabil atras\u0103 \u0219i absorbit\u0103. Eram o bun\u0103 ascult\u0103toare \u0219i dac\u0103 cel\u0103lalt \u00eencepea s\u0103-mi povesteasc\u0103, de cele mai multe ori intram at\u00e2t de mult \u00een poveste \u0219i mi se p\u0103rea c\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg at\u00e2t de bine felul \u00een care tr\u0103ie\u0219te lucrurile \u00eenc\u00e2t era ca \u0219i cum mergeam cu totul \u00eentr-o alt\u0103 realitate, \u0219i nimic altceva nu se mai z\u0103rea la orizont. M\u0103 sim\u021beam util\u0103 pentru c\u0103 cel\u0103lalt se sim\u021bea \u00een\u021beles \u0219i recunosc\u0103toare pentru c\u0103 \u00eemi \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219ea din ceva ce eu consideram a fi extrem de important. R\u0103m\u00e2neau mult\u0103 vreme cu mine lucrurile pe care mi le spunea, \u0219i \u021bineam leg\u0103tura des (mai ales dac\u0103 emo\u021biile erau din zona triste\u021bii sau durerii)<\/span>, c\u0103utam solu\u021bii, alin\u0103ri \u0219i ie\u0219iri salvatoare, \u0219i \u00eemi \u00eenchipuiam cum a\u0219 tr\u0103i eu lucrurile dac\u0103 mi s-ar fi \u00eent\u00e2mplat mie. Dac\u0103 a\u0219 fi primit atunci \u00eentrebarea de la \u00eenceputul articolului, r\u0103spunsul ar fi fost cu siguran\u021b\u0103 da, m\u0103 simt cople\u0219it\u0103 de lucrurile pe care mi le spun oamenii \u0219i care au o mare \u00eenc\u0103rc\u0103tur\u0103 emo\u021bional\u0103 (dar n-a\u0219 fi recunoscut asta nici \u00een ruptul capului)<\/span>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Petreceam de fapt foarte mult\u0103 vreme \u00een mrejele emo\u021biilor, m\u0103 sim\u021beam foarte des cople\u0219it\u0103 de ele, \u0219i asta era \u00een acela\u0219i timp defini\u021bia mea pentru o via\u021b\u0103 tr\u0103it\u0103 cu sens, \u00eemi d\u0103dea o puternic\u0103 senza\u021bie de vitalitate. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din fericire, odat\u0103 ce mi-am \u00eenceput formarea \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 lucrurile au \u00eenceput, \u00eencet-\u00eencet (foarte \u00eencet),<\/span><\/span> s\u0103 se schimbe. Am reu\u0219it \u00eentr-un final s\u0103 fac diferen\u021ba dintre identificare \u0219i empatie<\/a>, s\u0103 nu m\u0103 mai duc cu totul \u00een lumea celuilalt, purtat\u0103 de val, s\u0103 mai iau distan\u021b\u0103 fa\u021b\u0103 de emo\u021bii \u0219i s\u0103 mai v\u0103d \u0219i altceva \u00een afar\u0103 de ele, \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp s\u0103 valorizez \u0219i alte lucruri la via\u021b\u0103, s\u0103-i dau un sens mai amplu. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Problema cople\u0219irii emo\u021bionale, fie c\u0103 este cauzat\u0103 de propriile emo\u021bii, fie de emo\u021biile altcuiva, \u021bine \u00een primul r\u00e2nd de felul \u00een care sunt gestionate \u0219i reglate<\/a>. Cu siguran\u021b\u0103, s\u0103 \u0219tiu c\u0103 pot s\u0103 con\u021bin emo\u021biile mele intense, c\u0103 eu nu m\u0103 rezum la ele \u0219i nici nu m\u0103 dezintegrez \u00een urma lor \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp c\u0103 ele nu continu\u0103 la nesf\u00e2r\u0219it \u00een aceea\u0219i not\u0103 m\u0103 ajut\u0103 foarte mult s\u0103 pot avea \u00eencrederea c\u0103 \u0219i alte persoane pot face acela\u0219i lucru; m\u0103 ajut\u0103 de asemenea s\u0103 privesc emo\u021biile \u00een general mai degrab\u0103 ca pe ni\u0219te c\u0103i vii prin care ajung la informa\u021bii relevante despre mine, lumea \u0219i rela\u021biile \u00een care sunt \u0219i despre evenimentele prin care trec, dec\u00e2t ca pe ni\u0219te realit\u0103\u021bi definitive pe care trebuie s\u0103 le urmez neap\u0103rat (am multe exemple \u00een sensul \u0103sta; unul dintre ele ar fi situa\u021bia \u00een care m\u0103 tem de ceva \u0219i \u00een loc s\u0103 evit automat lucrul respectiv, stau s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc din ce motive simt team\u0103 \u0219i dac\u0103 \u00eentr-adev\u0103r am de ce s\u0103 m\u0103 tem sau nu)<\/span>. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Dar poate tocmai pentru c\u0103 emo\u021biile au \u00eentotdeauna un sens (chiar \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd sunt vagi sau par s\u0103 nu se lege de nimic anume)<\/span>, fie c\u0103 sunt intense, persistente sau blocate cu \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2nare, exist\u0103 \u0219i motive serioase pentru care ele sunt astfel. Unele situa\u021bii de via\u021b\u0103, evenimente, st\u0103ri de fapt sunt realmente foarte greu de dus. E foarte greu, \u00een general, s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u0219ti cu boala \u0219i durerea, cu s\u0103r\u0103cia, cu abuzul de orice fel, cu separarea de o persoan\u0103 semnificativ\u0103 sau cu moartea cuiva drag, cu lipsa iubirii, cu respingerea, cu batjocura, \u0219.a.m.d.. Unele sunt inevitabile, altele par s\u0103 vin\u0103 prea multe de-odat\u0103, altele sunt pur \u0219i simplu prea mult. Nu exist\u0103 m\u0103suri universale, \u0219i impactul nu poate fi de fapt cuantificat sau comparat. Dar ceva din felul \u00een care sunt tr\u0103ite situa\u021biile acestea poate fi sim\u021bit prin empatie. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\u0218i aici, cred, intervine un alt lucru important pe care l-am \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat \u0219i pe care am nevoie s\u0103 \u00eel exersez con\u0219tient \u0219i constant: doar atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 \u00eempac cu neputin\u021ba mea de a schimba situa\u021bia de via\u021b\u0103 a celuilalt (pentru a o face mai bun\u0103)<\/span> \u0219i am \u00eencredere \u00een tendin\u021ba lui la actualizare<\/a>, pot de fapt s\u0103 fac ceva pentru a-i fi de ajutor. Pe de o parte, asta se leag\u0103 de dorin\u021ba mea ca cel\u0103lalt s\u0103 nu mai sufere, de a repara, de a \u00eendrepta un r\u0103u, de a recupera ceva pierdut – dorin\u021b\u0103 pe care am nevoie s\u0103 o alin \u00eentr-o anumit\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103; pe de alta \u021bine de a-mi recunoa\u0219te \u0219i respecta propriile limite, \u0219i apoi de a avea \u00eencredere c\u0103 via\u021ba poate fi tr\u0103it\u0103 \u00eentr-un mod valoros \u0219i semnificativ chiar \u0219i cu experien\u021be foarte greu de \u00eendurat. \u00cen acela\u0219i timp, \u021bine \u0219i de a-l vedea pe cel\u0103lalt mai aproape de realitate, ca fiind mai mult dec\u00e2t suferin\u021ba lui \u0219i p\u0103r\u021bile din el afectate de ea.   <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Psihoterapia nu este panaceu. Nu este o solu\u021bie universal\u0103, care s\u0103 ajute pe toat\u0103 lumea, oric\u00e2nd \u0219i \u00een orice situa\u021bie, nu este o baghet\u0103 magic\u0103 (oric\u00e2t mi-ar pl\u0103cea mie uneori s\u0103 fie)<\/span>. Nici eu ca psihoterapeut \u0219i nici clien\u021bii mei nu putem schimba o stare de fapt a lucrurilor. Suferin\u021ba, boala, durerea, izolarea, pierderea, nedreptatea \u0219i toate celelalte lucruri pe care le tr\u0103im \u0219i ne fac r\u0103u exist\u0103 \u0219i nu pot fi desf\u0103cute. \u00cen sensul acesta, psihoterapia se bazeaz\u0103 pe o acceptare a realit\u0103\u021bii \u0219i pe o \u00eemp\u0103care cu neputin\u021ba de a schimba aceast\u0103 realitate (lucru care \u00een definitiv \u021bine de acceptarea limitelor condi\u021biei umane)<\/span>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

De foarte multe ori, o mare parte din procesul psihoterapeutic tocmai \u00een asta const\u0103: \u00een a ajunge la discernerea clar\u0103, nedistorsionat\u0103 \u0219i mai ampl\u0103 a realit\u0103\u021bii (interioare \u0219i exterioare)<\/span>, \u0219i \u00een a o accepta ca atare. Doar pornind de la o astfel de baz\u0103 poate exista de fapt schimbare. Dar chiar \u0219i a\u0219a, psihoterapia \u00een sine nu poate schimba ceva din situa\u021bia concret\u0103 de via\u021b\u0103 a oamenilor care apeleaz\u0103 la ea. Dac\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eemboln\u0103vesc, trebuie s\u0103-mi tratez boala merg\u00e2nd la un medic; dac\u0103 \u00eemi doresc prietenii mai profunde, trebuie s\u0103 fac lucruri concrete \u00een direc\u021bia asta; dac\u0103 a murit cineva drag, trebuie s\u0103-mi tr\u0103iesc doliul… (\u0219.a.m.d.)<\/span>. Psihoterapia poate fi de mare ajutor, dar doar pentru ce poate ea realmente face, \u0219i niciodat\u0103 de una singur\u0103.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Asta este de fapt ceea ce m\u0103 ajut\u0103 s\u0103 nu fiu cople\u0219it\u0103 de greut\u0103\u021bile clien\u021bilor mei, chiar dac\u0103 sunt impresionat\u0103 de ele: pe de o parte, faptul c\u0103 am o rela\u021bie mai s\u0103n\u0103toas\u0103 cu emo\u021biile (ale mele \u0219i \u00een general)<\/span>, \u0219i pe de alta faptul c\u0103 sunt con\u0219tient\u0103 de, \u0219i \u00eemp\u0103cat\u0103 cu limitele mele \u0219i ale psihoterapiei. Astfel, \u00een loc de cople\u0219ire \u0219i teama sau \u00eengrijorarea care vine odat\u0103 cu ea (c\u0103 ei n-or s\u0103 se descurce, or s\u0103 cad\u0103, or s\u0103 sufere \u00een continuare)<\/span>, pot s\u0103 am \u00eencredere (c\u0103 se vor descurca, se vor putea ridica, vor g\u0103si alinare \u0219i sens, c\u0103 via\u021ba este valoroas\u0103 cu tot cu suferin\u021b\u0103)<\/span> – \u0219i \u00eencrederea aceasta este funda\u021bia pe care sprijin \u00eentreg procesul psihoterapeutic \u0219i care \u00eemi permite de fapt s\u0103 \u00eemi practic meseria. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Av\u00e2nd lucrul acesta \u00een minte (c\u0103 nici eu, ca psihoterapeut, nu sunt singura care poate fi de ajutor persoanei cu care lucrez, \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp nici persoana cu care sunt \u00een rela\u021bie psihoterapeutic\u0103 nu este singur\u0103 cu tot ce are de dus)<\/span>, \u0219i av\u00e2nd \u00eencrederea de care vorbeam, la ce bun<\/a> este, a\u0219adar, psihoterapia? <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Din punctul meu de vedere, ce poate psihoterapia s\u0103 schimbe este doar omul care apeleaz\u0103 la ea (\u0219i pe cel cu care lucreaz\u0103)<\/span>. Schimbarea poate fi uneori foarte profund\u0103, pentru c\u0103 se petrece prin rela\u021bie: pot ap\u0103rea perspective diferite \u0219i se pot crea noi tipare rela\u021bionale, noi moduri de a fi, mai congruente<\/a>, \u0219i noi leg\u0103turi neuronale care s\u0103 le sprijine. Nu este nici pe departe singura posibilitate pentru asta, dar este unul dintre cele mai con\u0219tiente \u0219i \u021bintite demersuri cu acest scop.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Ca s\u0103 m\u0103 \u00eentorc la metafora de la care am pornit, psihoterapia nu face s\u0103 apar\u0103 soarele, sau s\u0103 nu mai existe fulgere. Ea poate oferi \u00een schimb o modalitate de a putea con\u021bine \u0219i canaliza energia unei furtuni, protej\u00e2nd casa de stric\u0103ciuni, \u0219i f\u0103c\u00e2nd o leg\u0103tur\u0103 direct\u0103 cu p\u0103m\u00e2ntul, cu solul stabil, puternic \u0219i hr\u0103nitor pe care este construit\u0103 casa (o leg\u0103tur\u0103 direct\u0103 cu sine, adic\u0103)<\/span> –  asemenea unui paratr\u0103snet. Psihoterapeutul este persoana care cunoa\u0219te vremea, \u0219tie cam cum se comport\u0103 norii \u0219i furtunile \u00een general \u0219i cum pot fi afectate construc\u021biile, \u0219tie c\u0103 li se poate supravie\u021bui, \u0219i a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat una dintre c\u0103ile prin care se poate ajunge la un trai bun chiar \u0219i pe vreme rea. El lucreaz\u0103 (\u00een general cu o frecven\u021b\u0103 de o or\u0103 pe s\u0103pt\u0103m\u00e2n\u0103)<\/span> \u00eempreun\u0103 cu persoana a c\u0103rei cas\u0103 este amenin\u021bat\u0103, at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t este furtun\u0103 \u0219i\/sau se \u00eentrev\u0103d nori negri la orizont \u0219i at\u00e2ta timp c\u00e2t este dorit acolo, pentru ca persoana s\u0103-\u0219i construiasc\u0103 mijloace de protec\u021bie mai potrivite sau o cas\u0103 mai solid\u0103, s\u0103 fac\u0103 o mutare \u00eentr-un loc cu clim\u0103 mai bl\u00e2nd\u0103 sau orice alegere consider\u0103 ea c\u0103 este mai bun\u0103 pentru sine \u00een condi\u021biile date, unice \u0219i personale.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Una dintre \u00eentreb\u0103rile pe care le primesc cel mai des este cum reu\u0219esc s\u0103 fac fa\u021b\u0103, dac\u0103 nu cumva m\u0103 cople\u0219esc, apas\u0103 \u0219i urm\u0103resc greut\u0103\u021bile clien\u021bilor mei. De cele mai multe ori, oamenii care m\u0103 \u00eentreab\u0103 asta se g\u00e2ndesc cu \u00eengrijorare \u0219i compasiune la mine, e o \u00eentrebare care vine pe aripile empatiei. Adev\u0103rul e … Continue reading Psihoterapia ca un paratr\u0103snet<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":320,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[47,32],"tags":[17,31,59,53,39],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nPsihoterapia ca un paratr\u0103snet - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psihoterapia, prin rela\u021bia pe care se bazeaz\u0103, poate fi un mod de a con\u021bine \u0219i canaliza emo\u021bii intense \u0219i de a face \u00eemp\u0103m\u00e2ntare - 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