{"id":31,"date":"2015-03-30T12:38:16","date_gmt":"2015-03-30T12:38:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=31"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:06:44","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:06:44","slug":"empatia-un-proces","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/empatia-un-proces\/","title":{"rendered":"Empatia – un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Am scris \u00een articolul precedent<\/a>, chiar \u00een titlu, c\u0103 empatia este ceva ce putem face cu to\u021bii – c\u0103 este o capacitate. Dar oare nu este empatia \u0219i ceva ce putem avea? Sau un fel \u00een care putem fi? Sau ceva ce tr\u0103im? Ce este empatia de fapt<\/strong>, dincolo de mecanismele fiziologice care o fac posibil\u0103? R\u0103spunsuri la aceste \u00eentreb\u0103ri sunt multe, chiar \u0219i printre psihoterapeu\u021bi. \u015ei \u00een cadrul psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103 exist\u0103 mici diferen\u021be de nuan\u021b\u0103 sau viziune asupra conceptului, \u00eens\u0103 \u00een aspectele esen\u0163iale psihoterapeu\u021bii centra\u021bi pe persoan\u0103 au ajuns la o \u00een\u021belegere comun\u0103 a termenului, care face din empatie una dintre componentele absolut necesare ale rela\u021biei terapeutice. Articolul pe care tocmai \u00eel citi\u021bi prezint\u0103 aceast\u0103 \u00een\u021belegere comun\u0103 \u0219i explic\u0103, pe scurt, de ce este empatia at\u00e2t de important\u0103 pentru psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 – \u0219i pentru rela\u021bii \u00een general.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Am scris data trecut\u0103 c\u0103 empatia este un mijloc de cunoa\u0219tere<\/strong>, prin care ne putem da seama de ceea ce tr\u0103ie\u0219te un cel\u0103lalt – o capacitate pe care o avem cu to\u021bii \u0219i pe care, dac\u0103 dorim, o putem cultiva \u0219i perfec\u021biona. Suntem empatici \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd ne d\u0103m seama de tr\u0103irile unui personaj dintr-un film pe care \u00eel urm\u0103rim, \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem viziunea unui artist, \u0219i atunci c\u00e2nd recunoa\u0219tem emo\u021biile persoanelor cu care interac\u021bion\u0103m. A \u00een\u021belege empatia ca o capacitate \u00eenseamn\u0103 a o \u00een\u021belege \u00eentr-un sens foarte larg. Psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 restr\u00e2nge \u00eentr-o anumit\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103 sensul pe care \u00eel d\u0103 empatiei \u0219i \u00eel nuan\u021beaz\u0103 ata\u0219\u00e2ndu-i o anumit\u0103 valoare. Aceast\u0103 valoare la care m\u0103 refer este reprezentat\u0103 de o atitudine.<\/p>\n

Ce vreau s\u0103 spun prin asta? C\u00e2nd privim empatia ca o capacitate \u0219i at\u00e2t, \u00een\u021belegerea noastr\u0103 asupra ei este una de suprafa\u021b\u0103, pentru c\u0103 \u00een acest caz empatia presupune o recunoa\u0219tere minimal\u0103 a tr\u0103irilor celorlal\u021bi \u0219i exclude reac\u021bia noastr\u0103 la ceea ce afl\u0103m \u00een acest fel. De cele mai multe ori ne d\u0103m seama de ceea ce tr\u0103ie\u0219te un cel\u0103lalt, dar ce alegem s\u0103 facem cu aceast\u0103 informa\u021bie depinde foarte mult de contextul \u00een care ne afl\u0103m, de scopurile pe care le avem, de dispozi\u021bia noastr\u0103 de moment \u0219.a.m.d. Teoria psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103 spune c\u0103 empatia nu este numai o con\u0219tientizare a tr\u0103irilor celuilalt, ci un proces<\/strong>: este un fel anume de a fi \u00een rela\u021bie care permite \u00een\u0163elegerea celuilalt din propria-i perspectiv\u0103, moment cu moment, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 avem alte scopuri \u00een afar\u0103 de aceasta.<\/p>\n

Carl Rogers, fondatorul psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103, spunea despre empatie c\u0103 \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u201es\u0103 sim\u0163i lumea intim\u0103 a clientului ca \u015fi cum ar fi a ta, \u00eens\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 a pierde vreodat\u0103 condi\u0163ia \u00abca \u015fi cum\u00bb\u201d<\/strong>. [dintr-un citat din \u201eThe Necessary and Sufficient Conditions of Therapeutic Personality Change\u201d de Carl Rogers, ap\u0103rut \u00een Journal of Consulting Psychology, <\/em>21, p. 95-103, a\u015fa cum apare el la pagina 121 din Empatia \u00een psihoterapie<\/em>, carte coordonat\u0103 de Arthur C. Bohart \u015fi Leslie S. Greenberg \u015fi ap\u0103rut\u0103 la Editura Trei \u00een 2011]<\/span> \u00cen una dintre ultimele c\u0103r\u021bi pe care le-a scris, el descrie mai \u00een detaliu ce \u00een\u0163elege prin a fi empatic \u00eentr-o rela\u0163ie: [A Way of Being<\/em>, ap\u0103rut\u0103 la editura Houghton Mifflin Company din Boston\/New York, \u00een 1980 \u0219i reeditat\u0103 \u00een 1995, paginile 142-143; traducerea \u00eemi apar\u0163ine]<\/span> \u201e\u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 intri \u00een lumea conceptual\u0103 privat\u0103 a celuilalt \u015fi s\u0103 te sim\u0163i complet ca acas\u0103 \u00een ea. Implic\u0103 s\u0103 fii receptiv, moment cu moment, la semnifica\u0163iile mereu \u00een schimbare care curg \u00een aceast\u0103 alt\u0103 persoan\u0103, la frica sau furia sau bl\u00e2nde\u0163ea sau confuzia sau orice el sau ea tr\u0103ie\u015fte. \u00censeamn\u0103 s\u0103 tr\u0103ie\u015fti temporar \u00een via\u0163a celuilalt, s\u0103 te mi\u015fti prin ea delicat f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 judeci; \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 percepi semnifica\u0163ii de care el sau ea este abia con\u015ftient\/\u0103, dar ne\u00eencerc\u00e2nd s\u0103 descoperi sentimente cu totul incon\u015ftiente, din moment ce asta ar fi prea amenin\u0163\u0103tor. Include s\u0103-i comunici celuilalt ce sim\u0163i din lumea sa, pe m\u0103sur\u0103 ce prive\u015fti cu ochi proaspe\u0163i \u015fi netem\u0103tori la elemente de care el sau ea se teme. \u00censeamn\u0103 s\u0103 verifici frecvent cu cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103 precizia lucrurilor pe care le percepi, \u015fi s\u0103 fii ghidat de r\u0103spunsurile pe care le prime\u015fti. E\u015fti un \u00eenso\u0163itor \u00eencrez\u0103tor al persoanei \u00een lumea lui\/ei interioar\u0103. Atr\u0103g\u00e2nd aten\u0163ia asupra posibilelor semnifica\u0163ii \u00een curgerea tr\u0103irilor celuilalt, \u00eel aju\u0163i s\u0103 se concentreze pe acest acest tip folositor de referent, s\u0103 tr\u0103iasc\u0103 semnifica\u0163iile mai plenar, \u015fi s\u0103 mearg\u0103 mai departe \u00een tr\u0103ire.<\/p>\n

A fi cu cel\u0103lalt \u00een acest fel \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 pentru moment, \u00ee\u0163i la\u015fi propriile viziuni \u015fi valori la o parte pentru a intra \u00een lumea celuilalt f\u0103r\u0103 prejudecat\u0103. \u00centr-un anume sens \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103-\u0163i la\u015fi la o parte sinele; acest lucru nu poate fi f\u0103cut dec\u00e2t de c\u0103tre persoane care sunt suficient de sigure pe ele \u00eensele pentru a \u015fti c\u0103 nu se vor pierde \u00een ce s-ar putea dovedi a fi lumea stranie sau bizar\u0103 a celuilalt, \u015fi c\u0103 se pot \u00eentoarce cu lejeritate \u00eenapoi \u00een lumea lor c\u00e2nd doresc.<\/p>\n

Poate c\u0103 aceast\u0103 descriere face s\u0103 fie clar faptul c\u0103 a fi empatic este un fel de a fi complex, solicitant, \u015fi puternic – \u015fi \u00een acela\u015fi timp subtil \u015fi bl\u00e2nd.\u201d<\/p>\n

Cu alte cuvinte, empatia \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103-l vezi \u015fi s\u0103-l \u00een\u0163elegi pe cel\u0103lalt a\u015fa cum se vede \u015fi \u00een\u0163elege el, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 aplici propriile valori \u015fi credin\u0163e \u00een acest proces, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 presupui ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 pentru el anumite lucruri, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 critici, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 vrei s\u0103 schimbi ceva, dar \u015fi f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 te sperii sau s\u0103 te pierzi. C\u00e2nd e\u015fti empatic, e\u015fti doar atent \u015fi cau\u0163i s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegi.<\/strong> Dar procesul empatiei nu se opre\u015fte aici, din perspectiva psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103. El mai presupune \u015fi s\u0103-i comunici<\/strong> celuilalt ceea ce \u00een\u0163elegi \u015fi s\u0103-l \u00eentrebi<\/strong> dac\u0103 ce ai \u00een\u0163eles este corect, precis. \u00cen acest fel, te p\u0103strezi tot timpul aproape de semnifica\u0163iile lui \u015fi \u00eei transmi\u0163i c\u0103 e\u015fti o prezen\u0163\u0103 non-invaziv\u0103. Fiind \u00een lumea celuilalt, dar fiind totu\u015fi o persoan\u0103 separat\u0103 (acel \u201eca \u015fi cum\u201d de care spunea Rogers), po\u0163i observa lucruri pe care cel\u0103lalt abia le intuie\u015fte sau nu le percepe chiar deloc. Spun\u00e2ndu-i despre cele care-i sunt mai la \u00eendem\u00e2n\u0103, cu aceea\u015fi atitudine non-invaziv\u0103, cel\u0103lalt poate privi \u015fi el \u00eentr-acolo. Acesta este un prim pas \u00eenspre cre\u015ftere, dezvoltare, evolu\u0163ie: s\u0103 vezi lucrurile a\u015fa cum sunt ele.<\/p>\n

Este evident acum c\u0103 empatia nu este ceva static. Odat\u0103 ce unele semnifica\u0163ii sunt clarificate \u015fi altele noi descoperite, o putem lua de la cap\u0103t. Este un proces care ar putea, teoretic, s\u0103 continue la nesf\u00e2r\u015fit, c\u0103ci ceea ce tr\u0103im este mereu \u00een continu\u0103 mi\u015fcare. Dar am spus mai devreme c\u0103 empatia are la baz\u0103 \u015fi o atitudine<\/strong>. A\u015f putea descrie aceast\u0103 atitudine ca fiind una de deschidere, de curiozitate \u015fi bl\u00e2nde\u0163e, de dorin\u0163\u0103 de a \u00een\u0163elege pur \u015fi simplu. Ca s\u0103 fim empatici trebuie s\u0103 vrem s\u0103 \u00een\u0163elegem cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103, s\u0103 ne intereseze \u015fi s\u0103 ne pese, s\u0103 fim dispu\u015fi s\u0103 intr\u0103m \u00eentr-o lume p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 necunoscut\u0103, \u015fi s\u0103 p\u0103\u015fim cu grij\u0103 \u015fi considera\u0163ie prin ea. Tocmai de aceea, putem ar\u0103ta empatia \u00een mai multe feluri. Nu exist\u0103 un set anume de comportamente, gesturi, tehnici, etc. care s\u0103 defineasc\u0103 empatia. Dimpotriv\u0103, odat\u0103 ce ne preocup\u0103 cum s\u0103 ar\u0103t\u0103m c\u0103 suntem empatici, \u00eencet\u0103m a mai fi empatici: nu ne mai intereseaz\u0103 cel\u0103lalt \u015fi ce \u00een\u0163elegem din ceea ce el ne comunic\u0103, ci cu totul altceva (\u00een termeni mai de specialitate am spune c\u0103 ie\u015fim din cadrul lui de referin\u0163\u0103).<\/p>\n

Dar la ce bun s\u0103 fim empatici?<\/strong> De ce este empatia considerat\u0103 unul dintre elementele absolut necesare ale rela\u0163iei terapeutice, din perspectiva psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103? \u015ei de fapt, la ce bun empatia \u00een rela\u0163ii \u00een general? Sunt convins\u0103 c\u0103 deja v\u0103 pute\u0163i da singuri seama de posibilele r\u0103spunsuri. G\u00e2ndi\u0163i-v\u0103 doar la momentele \u00een care v-a\u0163i sim\u0163it \u00een\u0163ele\u015fi cu adev\u0103rat de o alt\u0103 persoan\u0103, f\u0103r\u0103 ca ea s\u0103 \u00eencerce s\u0103 v\u0103 conving\u0103 de ceva, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 v\u0103 certe, sau s\u0103 v\u0103 laude, sau s\u0103 v\u0103 arate ce e bine sau nu la ce \u00eei spune\u0163i. Poate fi \u00eencurajator \u015fi eliberator. Dac\u0103 cel pu\u0163in o persoan\u0103 ne poate \u00een\u0163elege cu adev\u0103rat \u015fi r\u0103m\u00e2ne \u00een continuare al\u0103turi de noi, \u00eenseamn\u0103 c\u0103 nu suntem singuri, c\u0103 ceea ce tr\u0103im nu este at\u00e2t de r\u0103u sau de neacceptat, c\u0103 putem fi noi \u00een\u015fine f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ne ascundem. \u015ei c\u0103 putem, dac\u0103 vrem, s\u0103 r\u0103m\u00e2nem a\u015fa sau s\u0103 ne schimb\u0103m.<\/p>\n

Sau poate fi pur \u015fi simplu pl\u0103cut.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Am scris \u00een articolul precedent, chiar \u00een titlu, c\u0103 empatia este ceva ce putem face cu to\u021bii – c\u0103 este o capacitate. Dar oare nu este empatia \u0219i ceva ce putem avea? Sau un fel \u00een care putem fi? Sau ceva ce tr\u0103im? Ce este empatia de fapt, dincolo de mecanismele fiziologice care o fac … Continue reading Empatia – un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[17,18,12,16],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nEmpatia - un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 spune c\u0103 empatia este un proces prin care \u00een\u0163elegem lumea celuilalt ca \u015fi cum ar fi a noastr\u0103, un fel de a fi \u00een rela\u0163ie.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/empatia-un-proces\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Empatia - 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