{"id":287,"date":"2018-09-29T23:02:03","date_gmt":"2018-09-29T20:02:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=287"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:46:54","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:46:54","slug":"despre-speranta","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/despre-speranta\/","title":{"rendered":"Despre speran\u021b\u0103 \u0219i u\u0219i deschise"},"content":{"rendered":"

Anul acesta Conferin\u021ba Interna\u021bional\u0103 de Psihoterapie Centrat\u0103 pe Persoan\u0103 \u0219i Experien\u021bial\u0103<\/a>\u00a0a avut ca tem\u0103 speran\u021ba \u0219i cum poate fi ea facilitat\u0103 la nivel personal dar \u0219i \u00een plan social. S-a vorbit mult despre ea, \u00eentr-un context \u00een care ne confrunt\u0103m adesea cu dezn\u0103dejde, disperare \u0219i lips\u0103 de speran\u021b\u0103, dar \u0219i despre curaj \u0219i \u00eencredere (dintr-o perspectiv\u0103 \u00een care speran\u021ba era \u0219i ea unul dintre relele din cutia Pandorei)<\/span>. \u0218i totu\u0219i, ce m-a frapat cel mai mult a fost c\u0103 oamenii nu aveau neap\u0103rat nevoie de speran\u021b\u0103 sau de vreo alt\u0103 for\u021b\u0103 mobilizatoare, ci de a fi \u00eentr-un\u00a0contact semnificativ \u0219i autentic unii cu al\u021bii, cu ei \u00een\u0219i\u0219i, cu Lumea \u00een care tr\u0103iesc.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Speran\u021ba, fie c\u0103 \u00eei conferim un sens pozitiv sau unul negativ, se refer\u0103 la o discrepan\u021b\u0103 (\u0219i de aceea vine la pachet cu o anumit\u0103 doz\u0103 de nesiguran\u021b\u0103)<\/span> – \u00eentre ceea ce este \u0219i ceea ce ne dorim, \u00eentre un prezent (suficient de)<\/span> cunoscut \u0219i un viitor incert, \u00eentre ce avem nevoie \u0219i resursele pe care le avem pentru a le \u00eendeplini. \u00cen anumite privin\u021be, ea are o dimensiune existen\u021bial\u0103, \u021bine de \u00eensu\u0219i faptul c\u0103 suntem pe lume, \u00eentr-o via\u021b\u0103 f\u0103r\u0103 un sens de dinainte stabilit, muritori, liberi \u00een esen\u021b\u0103 \u0219i mereu la mijloc \u00eentre singuri \u0219i \u00eempreun\u0103.<\/p>\n

Pentru multe persoane care \u00eencep un proces psihoterapeutic, dar nu numai, speran\u021ba este important\u0103: ea poate fi un factor care s\u0103 inspire \u0219i s\u0103 dea energie sau dimpotriv\u0103, care s\u0103 sufoce \u0219i s\u0103 blocheze. A\u0219a cum o \u00een\u021beleg eu, speran\u021ba este\u00a0 o for\u021b\u0103 mobilizatoare, care poate fi folosit\u0103 pentru a modifica \u00eentr-un sens sau altul impactul pe care o anumit\u0103 discrepan\u021b\u0103 (sau incongruen\u021b\u0103<\/a>, poate)<\/span> \u00eel are asupra propriei persoane.<\/p>\n

Speran\u021ba poate fi de multe feluri, iar speran\u021bele de \u00eenc\u0103 \u0219i mai multe – sunt personale, fiecare sper\u0103 \u00een modul lui\/ei, \u0219i sper\u0103 altceva. Uneori, speran\u021ba este despre lucruri minore, cum ar fi de exemplu s\u0103 sper c\u0103 a doua zi va fi un pic de v\u00e2nticel, pentru c\u0103 a fost cam cald \u00een ultima vreme \u0219i parc\u0103 mi-e pu\u021bin dor de o adiere. Ar fi binevenit\u0103 o astfel de schimbare, dar e mai mult un moft dec\u00e2t o necesitate (pentru mine, \u00een exemplul de fa\u021b\u0103)<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Alteori sper s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple lucruri mult mai importante pentru mine, despre care cred c\u0103 mi-ar face via\u021ba semnificativ mai bun\u0103, \u0219i care la r\u00e2ndul lor pot fi mai concrete sau mai abstracte. Mai concrete ar fi, de exemplu, s\u0103 fie metroul<\/a>\u00a0din Drumul Taberei dat mai repede \u00een folosin\u021b\u0103, s\u0103n\u0103tatea, educa\u021bia \u0219i cultura s\u0103 devin\u0103 priorit\u0103\u021bi la nivel na\u021bional, s\u0103 dorm mai bine, s\u0103 fac alegeri mai s\u0103n\u0103toase mai des \u0219i mai constant, s\u0103 \u00eenv\u0103\u021b franceza p\u00e2n\u0103 la Forumul<\/a> din 2019… Lucrurile mai abstracte la care sper au leg\u0103tur\u0103 cu valorile, aspira\u021biile, principiile mele, cu felul \u00een care m\u0103 concep eu pe mine (parte din self-concept-ul meu)<\/span> \u0219i cum \u00eemi doresc s\u0103 fiu (parte din self-ul meu ideal)\u00a0<\/span>– \u00eentr-o vreme speram de exemplu s\u0103 fiu fericit\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 m\u0103 simt \u00eemplinit\u0103, \u0219i aveam (din p\u0103cate)<\/span> ni\u0219te criterii \u0219i condi\u021bii foarte stricte pentru asta; \u00eentre timp, mi-am mai schimbat perspectiva \u0219i sper la o via\u021b\u0103 mai bun\u0103 prin cre\u0219terea congruen\u021bei<\/a>. Pot fi lucruri care depind \u00eentr-o anumit\u0103 m\u0103sur\u0103 de mine, sau deloc, dar care m\u0103 afecteaz\u0103 \u00eentr-un mod semnificativ.<\/p>\n

Mai sunt \u00eens\u0103 \u0219i situa\u021bii \u00een care speran\u021ba este despre supravie\u021buire, \u0219i \u00een care se poate transforma cu u\u0219urin\u021b\u0103 \u00een disperare sau dezn\u0103dejde. S\u0103 sper, de exemplu, la \u00eens\u0103n\u0103to\u0219ire atunci c\u00e2nd am o boal\u0103 grav\u0103, la ziua \u00een care m\u0103 voi putea odihni atunci c\u00e2nd lucrez de diminea\u021b\u0103 p\u00e2n\u0103 seara \u0219i sunt la limita s\u0103r\u0103ciei, s\u0103 g\u0103sesc ajutor atunci c\u00e2nd am r\u0103mas f\u0103r\u0103 un acoperi\u0219 deasupra capului, la o a doua zi atunci c\u00e2nd sunt \u0219anse mari s\u0103 p\u0103\u021besc ceva \u00eentre timp \u0219i s\u0103 nu o apuc… Uneori \u00eens\u0103, speran\u021ba \u00ee\u0219i pierde sensul \u0219i via\u021ba se desf\u0103\u0219oar\u0103 dincolo de ea: c\u00e2nd supravie\u021buirea \u00een sine ia toat\u0103 energia, \u0219i toate resursele sunt mobilizate pentru a face lucrurile necesare pentru asta. Ca s\u0103 existe, speran\u021ba are nevoie de perspectiv\u0103, de acceptarea unei posibilit\u0103\u021bi diferite, a unei alternative.<\/p>\n

Tocmai de aceea, indiferent de situa\u021bie, at\u00e2ta vreme c\u00e2t avem speran\u021b\u0103, putem alege\u00a0(teoretic)<\/span> ce s\u0103 sper\u0103m, \u00een ce direc\u021bie s\u0103 \u00eendrept\u0103m aceast\u0103 for\u021b\u0103. O putem alinia cu tendin\u021ba la actualizare<\/a> sau cu tendin\u021ba de autoconservare a self-concept-ului (tendin\u021ba natural\u0103 de a p\u0103stra \u00eentreg \u0219i ne\u00eentinat cine \u0219tim c\u0103 suntem)<\/span>; o putem orienta spre schimbare, spre perseverare, sau spre pasivitate; o putem folosi s\u0103 ne ajute s\u0103 rezist\u0103m \u00eentr-o situa\u021bie greu de suportat, s\u0103 ie\u0219im din ea sau s\u0103 ne cre\u0103m o alta mai bun\u0103. Putem face aceast\u0103 alegere (con\u0219tient\u0103)<\/span> schimb\u00e2ndu-ne perspectiva asupra situa\u021biei \u00een care ne afl\u0103m, d\u00e2ndu-i un sens sau altul.<\/p>\n

De exemplu, speran\u021ba poate c\u0103p\u0103ta o valen\u021b\u0103 negativ\u0103 dac\u0103, sper\u00e2nd la ceva anume, ignor p\u0103r\u021bi importante din mine \u0219i din via\u021ba mea, m\u0103 men\u021bin \u00eentr-o pozi\u021bie de a\u0219teptare pasiv\u0103 \u0219i \u00eemi blochez astfel din posibilit\u0103\u021bile de dezvoltare. Dac\u0103 \u00eemi dau seama de acest lucru \u0219i \u00eemi schimb perspectiva (bun\u0103oar\u0103 lu\u00e2nd \u00een considerare \u0219i celelalte p\u0103r\u021bi din mine, d\u00e2nd o alt\u0103 semnifica\u021bie lucrului la care sper, sau pur \u0219i simplu accept\u00e2nd c\u0103 nu pot schimba realitatea dup\u0103 cum a\u0219 avea eu nevoie)<\/span>, pot alege s\u0103 sper la altceva, sau s\u0103 prind curaj \u0219i \u00eencredere s\u0103 fac ce mi-ar face bine, indiferent dac\u0103 ceea ce speram s\u0103 se \u00eent\u00e2mple va avea sau nu loc.<\/p>\n

Speran\u021ba, a\u0219adar, aduce lumin\u0103 asupra unei discrepan\u021be din interiorul nostru sau dintre ceva din interior \u0219i ceva din afar\u0103, \u0219i poate conferi energia necesar\u0103 pentru a tr\u0103i cu aceast\u0103 discrepan\u021b\u0103, regl\u00e2nd modul \u00een care o percepem \u0219i cum ne afecteaz\u0103\u00a0(\u00een func\u021bie de semnifica\u021bia pe care i-o d\u0103m)<\/span>; totu\u0219i, dac\u0103 felul \u00een care tr\u0103im cu discrepan\u021ba respectiv\u0103 ne face bine sau nu, \u0219i ce facem dup\u0103 ce ne d\u0103m seama de asta sunt o alt\u0103 poveste (\u0219i psihoterapia este unul dintre lucurile care poate ajuta \u00een asemenea situa\u021bii)<\/span>.<\/p>\n

Astfel st\u00e2nd lucrurile, de unde marea nevoie de a fi \u00een contact cu sine \u0219i cu ceilal\u021bi atunci c\u00e2nd vine vorba despre speran\u021b\u0103? Care este leg\u0103tura dintre cele dou\u0103? Cheia st\u0103, cred, \u00een faptul c\u0103 ambele se adreseaz\u0103 acelora\u0219i discrepan\u021be, iar a fi \u00een contact cu sine, cu ceilal\u021bi, cu Lumea schimb\u0103 perspectivele \u0219i\/sau creeaz\u0103 altele noi, \u0219i reduce gradul de nesiguran\u021b\u0103 care acompaniaz\u0103 discrepan\u021bele cu pricina.<\/p>\n

Conferin\u021ba de la Viena, prin tematic\u0103 \u0219i natura discu\u021biilor, a adus foarte mult \u00een vedere anumite tendin\u021be globale spre extremism, individualism, consumerism, nep\u0103sare, manipulare, agresivitate, valorizare a lucrurilor superficiale \u00een detrimentul celor profunde \u0219i a gratific\u0103rii imediate \u00een detrimentul satisfac\u021biei pe termen lung, \u0219.a.m.d.. Ne facem mult r\u0103u nou\u0103 \u00een\u0219ine, unii altora \u0219i lumii \u00een care tr\u0103im, \u0219i suntem mereu p\u00e2ndi\u021bi de pericole de toate felurile – \u00een condi\u021biile \u00een care nevoile noastre sunt de siguran\u021b\u0103, de rela\u021bii semnificative benefice, de iubire, de un mediu \u00een care s\u0103 putem cre\u0219te, de grij\u0103, respect, demnitate \u0219i s\u0103n\u0103tate… Viitorul pare sumbru<\/a>, c\u00e2nd ni-l dorim luminos. Discrepan\u021ba aceasta s-a c\u0103scat, expus\u0103 dintr-odat\u0103, la toate nivelurile vie\u021bii, umfl\u00e2nd p\u00e2nzele speran\u021bei \u0219i duc\u00e2nd-o \u00een acela\u0219i timp periculos de aproape de disperare \u0219i de lips\u0103 de speran\u021b\u0103.<\/p>\n

Tocmai de aceea, de fapt, am sim\u021bit nevoia s\u0103 rezolv\u0103m conflicte demult \u00eencepute, s\u0103 leg\u0103m prietenii \u0219i colabor\u0103ri, s\u0103 \u00eemp\u0103rt\u0103\u0219im din experien\u021be care ne-au marcat, s\u0103 facem schimb de perspective, de informa\u021bii, \u0219i de valori, s\u0103 c\u00e2nt\u0103m \u0219i s\u0103 dans\u0103m \u00eempreun\u0103, s\u0103 g\u0103sim lucruri pe care le avem \u00een comun (\u0219i am g\u0103sit foarte multe!)<\/span>, s\u0103 aducem la suprafa\u021b\u0103 din temerile \u0219i din visurile noastre, s\u0103 intr\u0103m \u00een contact cu noi \u00een\u0219ine \u0219i s\u0103 vedem cum mai suntem, s\u0103 avem \u00eencredere unii \u00een al\u021bii. Am f\u0103cut astfel loc \u0219i unei alte p\u0103r\u021bi a realit\u0103\u021bii, mai bine aliniat\u0103 cu nevoile \u0219i dorin\u021bele noastre de cre\u0219tere, s\u0103n\u0103tate \u0219i sprijin, ne-am l\u0103rgit perspectiva asupra vie\u021bii \u0219i am inclus-o, al\u0103turi de cea sumbr\u0103, \u0219i pe cea mai luminoas\u0103, am devenit mai congruen\u021bi.<\/p>\n

Mi-a pl\u0103cut ce a spus cineva (n-am putut s\u0103 v\u0103d cine)<\/span> despre speran\u021b\u0103 \u00een timpul ultimei \u00eent\u00e2lniri a Conferin\u021bei: \u201eDeschide u\u0219a: lumina merge spre \u00eentuneric, \u0219i nu invers. Continu\u0103 s\u0103 g\u0103se\u0219ti \u0219i s\u0103 deschizi u\u0219ile.\u201d Doar c\u0103, spun\u00e2nd asta, a vorbit de fapt despre primii pa\u0219i \u00een stabilirea contactului – cu sine, cu al\u021bi oameni, cu Lumea din jur.<\/p>\n

Fotografia este cu ruinele vechii cet\u0103\u021bi din\u00a0M\u00f6dling<\/a>,\u00a0 or\u0103\u0219elul \u00een care am stat pentru Conferin\u021b\u0103, la 30-45 de minute distan\u021b\u0103 de Viena, cu trenul (\u0219i care e absolut minunat!)<\/span>. O pornisem la plimbare, printr-un parc, \u0219i am ajuns f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103-mi dau seama pe dealuri abrupte cu p\u0103duri de pini \u0219i multe c\u0103r\u0103ri care mergeau care-\u00eencotro. Lu\u00e2nd-o dup\u0103 inspira\u021bie \u00eentr-o direc\u021bie sau alta, am ajuns p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 la o r\u0103scruce mai mare, prima semnalizat\u0103 vizibil, \u00een care unul dintre drumuri ducea la cetate. Se vedea p\u00e2n\u0103 departe de acolo, \u0219i m-am \u00eent\u00e2lnit cu dou\u0103 doamne (\u0219i familia lor)<\/span>. Erau din Ungaria, cea mai \u00een v\u00e2rst\u0103 se stabilise \u00een zon\u0103, iar cea mai t\u00e2n\u0103r\u0103 venise \u00een vizit\u0103. Mi-au dat binoclul lor s\u0103 m\u0103 uit \u00een jur, \u0219i s-au bucurat c\u00e2nd le-am zis c\u0103 sunt din Rom\u00e2nia. Mi-ar fi pl\u0103cut s\u0103 fi \u0219tiut maghiar\u0103, pentru c\u0103 ele nu \u0219tiau prea bine engleza, dar ne-am \u00een\u021beles prin c\u00e2teva cuvinte, prin semne \u0219i prin bun\u0103voin\u021b\u0103. M-am g\u00e2ndit c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd pot s-o iau pe oriunde, dar nu \u0219tiu neap\u0103rat \u00eencotro m\u0103 duc \u0219i locul e cam pustiu, s\u0103 \u00eent\u00e2lnesc oameni cu care m\u0103 pot conecta e tot ce-mi trebuie ca s\u0103-mi continui drumul mai \u00eencrez\u0103toare, oriunde m-ar duce el.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Anul acesta Conferin\u021ba Interna\u021bional\u0103 de Psihoterapie Centrat\u0103 pe Persoan\u0103 \u0219i Experien\u021bial\u0103\u00a0a avut ca tem\u0103 speran\u021ba \u0219i cum poate fi ea facilitat\u0103 la nivel personal dar \u0219i \u00een plan social. S-a vorbit mult despre ea, \u00eentr-un context \u00een care ne confrunt\u0103m adesea cu dezn\u0103dejde, disperare \u0219i lips\u0103 de speran\u021b\u0103, dar \u0219i despre curaj \u0219i \u00eencredere (dintr-o … Continue reading Despre speran\u021b\u0103 \u0219i u\u0219i deschise<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":298,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[47],"tags":[17,31,58,57,39],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nDespre speran\u021b\u0103 \u0219i u\u0219i deschise - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Speran\u021ba este o for\u021b\u0103 mobilizatoare care regleaz\u0103 impactul pe care \u00eel are o anume discrepan\u021b\u0103 asupra noastr\u0103. 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