{"id":207,"date":"2018-01-23T15:32:27","date_gmt":"2018-01-23T13:32:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=207"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:45:14","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:45:14","slug":"configuratiile-self-ului","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/configuratiile-self-ului\/","title":{"rendered":"Configura\u021biile self-ului"},"content":{"rendered":"

\u201eCum sunt eu?\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Ce v\u0103 r\u0103spunde\u021bi la aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare? \u0218i din ce perspectiv\u0103 privi\u021bi lucrurile?<\/p>\n

Este o \u00eentrebare foarte personal\u0103, \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp foarte general\u0103. Printre altele, este \u0219i una din \u00eentreb\u0103rile cheie ale psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103, de la care poate porni un proces explorator profund \u0219i extins. De cele mai multe ori, r\u0103spunsul nu este nici pe departe unul singur, \u0219i pe deasupra variaz\u0103 de la moment la moment. Suntem mereu \u00een mai multe feluri, \u0219i \u00een continu\u0103 schimbare. Cu toate astea, unele feluri de a fi sunt mai clar conturate dec\u00e2t altele, mai stabile \u0219i mai constante, \u0219i se exprim\u0103 \u00een moduri coerente \u0219i u\u0219or recognoscibile ca apar\u021bin\u00e2nd unei structuri unitare, din aceea\u0219i zon\u0103 a self<\/a>-ului. Au primit mai multe nume de-a lungul timpului – de exemplu \u201ep\u0103r\u021bi\u201d, \u201evoci\u201d, sau pur \u0219i simplu \u201emoduri de a fi\u201d – dar \u00een psihoterapia centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 ele se numesc \u201econfigura\u021bii\u201d.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Aria teoretic\u0103 din care face parte acest concept este cea a pluralismului self-ului – formulare care poate p\u0103rea complicat\u0103, la o prim\u0103 vedere. De exemplu, defini\u021bia unei configura\u021bii dat\u0103 de Dave Mearns \u0219i Brian Thorne sun\u0103 \u00een felul urm\u0103tor: \u201eO configura\u021bie este un construct ipotetic care desemneaz\u0103 un tipar coerent de sentimente, g\u00e2nduri \u0219i reac\u021bii comportamentale preferate, simbolizate sau presimbolizate de c\u0103tre persoan\u0103 ca reflect\u00e2nd o dimensiune a existen\u021bei \u00een cadrul sinelui\u201d<\/strong> (traducerea poate fi g\u0103sit\u0103 la paginile 70-71 \u00een \u201eConsilierea centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103 \u00een ac\u021biune\u201d, ap\u0103rut\u0103 la Editura Trei \u00een 2010)<\/span>. Un pic greoaie, dar de fapt foarte u\u0219or de \u00een\u021beles – \u00een primul r\u00e2nd la nivel intuitiv – \u0219i mai ales foarte util de \u00een\u021beles. Pentru c\u0103 multe din conflictele interioare sunt de fapt cauzate de dou\u0103 (sau mai multe) configura\u021bii care nu se \u00een\u021beleg \u00eentre ele, sunt \u00een dezacord una cu alta, \u0219i se lupt\u0103 pentru suprema\u021bie. Se pierde astfel mult\u0103 energie, \u00een cel mai bun caz; \u00een cel mai r\u0103u, incongruen\u021bele<\/a> dintre configura\u021bii \u0219i componentele lor pot afecta serios \u0219i profund via\u021ba de zi cu zi.<\/p>\n

Foarte simplist, \u0219i cu totul metaforic, pluralismul self-ului implic\u0103 existen\u021ba \u00een fiecare dintre noi a mai multor p\u0103r\u021bi, mai mult sau mai pu\u021bin clar conturate \u0219i dezvoltate, care se manifest\u0103 \u00een anumite situa\u021bii sau rela\u021bii, \u0219i pe care le \u0219tim \u00eentr-un fel sau altul, sau le putem descrie.<\/strong> E folosit cuv\u00e2ntul \u201econfigura\u021bie\u201d \u0219i nu \u201eparte\u201d din simplul motiv c\u0103 primul este mai complex \u0219i mai dinamic dec\u00e2t al doilea, \u0219i \u00een felul acesta reprezint\u0103 mai precis ideea. \u201eSimbolizat\u201d<\/strong> \u00eenseamn\u0103 con\u0219tientizat, care poate fi exprimat con\u0219tient printr-o form\u0103 anume (prin cuvinte, imagini, sau alt mijloc de expresie). \u201ePresimbolizat\u201d<\/strong> \u00eenseamn\u0103 foarte aproape de simbolizare, sau \u00een proces de simbolizare. Ceva presimbolizat este ca un lucru pe care \u00eel vedem cu coada ochilor – este la marginea c\u00e2mpului nostru vizual (a con\u0219tientiz\u0103rii, \u00een cazul \u0103sta), \u0219i dac\u0103 ne \u00eendrept\u0103m aten\u021bia asupra lui, \u00eel putem percepe clar.<\/p>\n

Cel mai u\u0219or ies configura\u021biile la iveal\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd avem de luat o decizie mai complex\u0103 \u0219i tind s\u0103 se pozi\u021bioneze diferit, sau c\u00e2nd una dintre ele intervine cu for\u021b\u0103 sau cu insisten\u021b\u0103 \u00een ceea ce facem – \u0219i le exprim\u0103m mai mult sau mai pu\u021bin explicit. De exemplu, le putem formula cam a\u0219a: \u201eE ca \u0219i cum a\u0219 avea un monstru \u00een mine pe care \u00eel \u021bin sub control de obicei, dar care r\u0103bufne\u0219te atunci c\u00e2nd se poart\u0103 cineva ur\u00e2t cu mine \u0219i nu m\u0103 las\u0103 \u00een pace\u201d sau \u201eE o parte din mine care atunci c\u00e2nd m\u0103 confrunt cu ceva care mi se pare greu, mare \u0219i important de f\u0103cut \u00eemi spune \u00abNu exist\u0103 nu\u00a0 pot<\/em>! Totul e s\u0103 vrei!\u00bb \u0219i o simt cum st\u0103 cu biciul pe mine\u201d, sau \u201ePe de o parte am elanul unui copil care vrea s\u0103 mearg\u0103 \u0219i s\u0103 descopere lumea \u0219i pe de alta aud o voce care-mi \u0219opte\u0219te mereu c\u0103 mai bine stau frumu\u0219el acas\u0103 la c\u0103lduric\u0103.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201eMonstrul\u201d, \u201epartea\u201d, \u201ecopilul\u201d \u0219i \u201evocea\u201d din exemplele de mai sus reprezint\u0103 fiecare c\u00e2te o configura\u021bie – pe care mai departe le pot observa \u0219i descrie mai \u00een detaliu, sau pot interac\u021biona cu ele. Cum e \u201emonstrul\u201d acesta, cum se simte, c\u00e2nd apare mai precis, ce vrea, de ce ar avea nevoie, c\u00e2nd a mai ap\u0103rut, ce ar spune sau face dac\u0103 i-a\u0219 da voie \u0219i ce \u00eemi imaginez c\u0103 s-ar \u00eent\u00e2mpla atunci, ce simt eu fa\u021b\u0103 de el,\u00a0 ce \u00eemi aduce el… sunt exemple de \u00eentreb\u0103ri pe care mi le-a\u0219 putea adresa. R\u0103spunsurile ar dezv\u0103lui mai mult despre configura\u021bia pe care am numit-o \u201emonstrul\u201d, \u0219i despre ce mai e \u00een jurul ei – cum ar fi cealalt\u0103 configura\u021bie, care \u00eel \u201e\u021bine sub control de obicei\u201d. Ambele au anumite valori care le ghideaz\u0103, anumite emo\u021bii predominante, g\u00e2nduri sub care ac\u021bioneaz\u0103, nevoi pe care caut\u0103 s\u0103 le \u00eendeplineasc\u0103, experien\u021be diferite de via\u021b\u0103 \u0219i viziuni diferite asupra ei – lucruri care dau coeren\u021b\u0103, o anume complexitate \u0219i dinamic\u0103. \u0218i ambele fac parte din mine, din self-ul meu.<\/p>\n

Uneori configura\u021biile sunt simbolizate asem\u0103n\u0103tor de mai mul\u021bi oameni<\/strong> – de pild\u0103, mai multe persoane vorbesc despre un \u201ecopil interior\u201d, sau de un \u201ecritic interior\u201d – dar ele sunt de fiecare dat\u0103 personale \u0219i unice.<\/strong> Configura\u021biile corespund unor moduri particulare de a fi (sim\u021bi, g\u00e2ndi, ac\u021biona) care s-au dezvoltat de-a lungul timpului \u00een rela\u021bie cu ceilal\u021bi oameni \u0219i \u00een varii situa\u021bii. Unele au avut poate mai multe ocazii s\u0103 str\u0103luceasc\u0103, altele au fost \u021binute \u00een umbr\u0103 \u0219i au r\u0103mas \u00een forme mai brute sau mai fragile.<\/p>\n

Criticul meu interior, de exemplu, este o tanti (este o tanti pentru c\u0103 am visat-o la un moment dat a\u0219a \u0219i apoi mi s-a p\u0103rut c\u0103 i se potrive\u0219te)<\/span> foarte exigent\u0103, niciodat\u0103 mul\u021bumit\u0103, care este foarte alert\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd am ceva de scris (ca acum, de exemplu)<\/span>, sau de dat vreun examen. Ea a \u00eenv\u0103\u021bat c\u0103 dac\u0103 vreau s\u0103 reu\u0219esc \u00een via\u021b\u0103, trebuie s\u0103 studiez \u0219i s\u0103 iau note bune (nu a ap\u0103rut de ieri, de azi, deci)<\/span> \u0219i s\u0103 s\u0103 fiu impecabil\u0103 \u00een exprimare, \u0219i dincolo de orice repro\u0219 \u00een activit\u0103\u021bi. De cele mai multe ori percep din ea doar stricte\u021bea, dar de fapt ce o anim\u0103 este o \u00eengrijorare, o temere. Cum o s\u0103 m\u0103 descurc eu, dac\u0103 nu m\u0103 ridic la standardele pe care le percepe ea ca fiind necesare pentru a duce o via\u021b\u0103 bun\u0103? Caut\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 protejeze, \u00een felul \u0103sta. Ea este cea care m\u0103 \u00eendeamn\u0103 s\u0103 m\u0103 simt vinovat\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd i se pare c\u0103 \u201epierd timpul\u201d (\u0219i sunt at\u00e2tea feluri \u00een care pot s\u0103-l pierd!)<\/span>, \u0219i tot ea m\u0103 \u021bine legat\u0103 de scaun (mai ales dac\u0103 am \u201epierdut timpul\u201d de cur\u00e2nd)<\/span> p\u00e2n\u0103 termin de scris (de exemplu)<\/span>, chiar dac\u0103 mie \u00eentre timp mi se face foame, sau sete, sau simt nevoia s\u0103 m\u0103 dezmor\u021besc un pic. Nu am nicio clip\u0103 de pierdut! Pentru ea, lumea este un loc aspru, competitiv, o lupt\u0103 constant\u0103 pentru supravie\u021buire. Este foarte preocupat\u0103 de p\u0103rerile celorlal\u021bi, pentru c\u0103 \u00een func\u021bie de ei \u0219i \u00een compara\u021bie cu ei \u00ee\u0219i poate da seama de fapt cam c\u00e2t de \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103 sunt. \u0218i pentru c\u0103 nu poate \u0219ti \u00eentotdeauna, de fapt cel mai sigur e s\u0103 fac totul perfect, \u00eentotdeauna.<\/p>\n

Nu zic, de multe ori datorit\u0103 ei chiar am reu\u0219it s\u0103 fac lucruri pe care altfel a\u0219 fi regretat s\u0103 nu le fi f\u0103cut. Dar ea \u00eemi ofer\u0103 doar o singur\u0103 perspectiv\u0103. Mai sunt \u0219i altele.<\/strong> \u0218i aici cred c\u0103 este cheia. De cele mai multe ori, atunci c\u00e2nd sunt \u00eentr-un mod specific unei anumite configura\u021bii, \u00eemi e greu s\u0103 mai percep sau s\u0103 accept la mine \u0219i alte feluri de a fi, sau s\u0103 le consider ca fiind valide \u0219i \u00eendrept\u0103\u021bite s\u0103 existe. \u0218i totu\u0219i asta nu schimb\u0103 cu nimic faptul c\u0103 ele chiar exist\u0103. \u00cen loc s\u0103-mi pierd energia lupt\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 cu mine \u00eens\u0103mi, \u00eenc\u0103p\u0103\u021b\u00e2n\u00e2ndu-m\u0103 s\u0103 neg sau s\u0103 \u00een\u0103bu\u0219 p\u0103r\u021bi din mine cu care nu sunt de acord, sau dimpotriv\u0103, str\u0103duindu-m\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eemi demonstrez c\u0103 lucrurile stau \u00eentr-un anumit fel \u0219i nu \u00een altul, am constatat c\u0103 mai de ajutor este s\u0103 cultiv o rela\u021bie de colaborare \u00eentre configura\u021biile mele, bazat\u0103 pe empatie<\/a> \u0219i pe acceptare pozitiv\u0103 necondi\u021bionat\u0103<\/a> <\/strong>(lucru u\u0219or de zis \u0219i ceva mai greu de f\u0103cut \u0219i de men\u021binut, din experien\u021ba mea; dar se poate \u00eenv\u0103\u021ba \u0219i \u00eembun\u0103t\u0103\u021bi oric\u00e2nd)<\/span>.<\/p>\n

S\u0103 dau unor feluri de a fi \u0219i unor p\u0103r\u021bi din mine o voce, s\u0103 le numesc \u0219i descriu aproape ca pe ni\u0219te persoane este o modalitate de a lucra cu mine \u00eens\u0103mi pentru a-mi cre\u0219te congruen\u021ba<\/a> \u0219i de a m\u0103 \u00een\u021belege \u00een moduri mai profunde \u0219i mai semnificative. Lu\u00e2ndu-mi configura\u021biile \u00een\u00a0serios \u0219i ascult\u00e2ndu-le \u00een mod egal, cu compasiune \u0219i f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 le judec, l\u0103s\u00e2ndu-le spa\u021biu s\u0103 respire – asta este una dintre modalit\u0103\u021bile prin care pot lua apoi hot\u0103r\u00e2ri pe care s\u0103 mi le asum \u00eemp\u0103cat\u0103 fiind cu mine \u00eens\u0103mi, sau prin care pot avea grij\u0103 de mine cea din trecut, \u0219i de mine cea de acum.<\/p>\n

Dau mai departe \u0219tafeta, a\u0219adar, \u0219i v\u0103 \u00eentreb: voi ce configura\u021bii ale self-ului ave\u021bi?<\/strong><\/p>\n

Imaginea este de aici<\/a>.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201eCum sunt eu?\u201d Ce v\u0103 r\u0103spunde\u021bi la aceast\u0103 \u00eentrebare? \u0218i din ce perspectiv\u0103 privi\u021bi lucrurile? Este o \u00eentrebare foarte personal\u0103, \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp foarte general\u0103. Printre altele, este \u0219i una din \u00eentreb\u0103rile cheie ale psihoterapiei centrate pe persoan\u0103, de la care poate porni un proces explorator profund \u0219i extins. De cele mai multe ori, … Continue reading Configura\u021biile self-ului<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":248,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[2],"tags":[22,18,52,31,12,25],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nConfigura\u021biile self-ului - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Configura\u021biile self-ului sunt ca un fel de p\u0103r\u021bi din noi pe care le putem numi \u0219i descrie, \u0219i care reprezint\u0103 moduri de a fi coerente \u0219i relativ constante, cu emo\u021bii, g\u00e2nduri \u0219i ac\u021biuni care au sens \u00eempreun\u0103.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/configuratiile-self-ului\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Configura\u021biile self-ului - 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