{"id":139,"date":"2016-10-16T15:23:39","date_gmt":"2016-10-16T12:23:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/ozananitulescu.ro\/blog\/?p=139"},"modified":"2020-02-13T17:29:41","modified_gmt":"2020-02-13T15:29:41","slug":"ascultarea-empatica","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/ascultarea-empatica\/","title":{"rendered":"Ascultarea empatic\u0103 – de ziua ei, 21 octombrie"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pe 21 octombrie este\u00a0Ziua Mondial\u0103 a Ascult\u0103rii<\/a>, \u0219i o s\u0103rb\u0103torim \u0219i \u00een Bucure\u0219ti, drept \u201eZiua Ascult\u0103rii Empatice\u201d. Vineri la pr\u00e2nz, \u00eentre 11:00 \u0219i 13:00, preg\u0103tim un workshop pentru studen\u021bi din cadrul facult\u0103\u021bii de psihologie, iar pe sear\u0103, \u00eentre 18:00 \u0219i 21:00 v\u0103 a\u0219tept \u00eempreun\u0103 cu colegii mei din Asocia\u021bia Rom\u00e2n\u0103 de Psihoterapie Centrat\u0103 pe Persoan\u0103<\/a>\u00a0la Seneca AntiCafe<\/a>. Voi fi printre ascult\u0103tori \u0219i timp de c\u00e2te dou\u0103zeci de minute voi asculta empatic pe oricine se va a\u0219eza \u00een fa\u021ba mea. Exist\u0103 \u0219i o \u00eentrebare pe care o vom pune: \u201ecum te sim\u021bi \u00een lume si \u00een via\u021b\u0103?\u201d, \u00een caz c\u0103 nu ave\u021bi idee cu ce s\u0103 \u00eencepe\u021bi.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Am dou\u0103 scopuri pentru articolul \u0103sta. Unul e s\u0103 v\u0103 impulsioneze s\u0103 participa\u021bi la eveniment. Al doilea este unul mai degrab\u0103 investigativ\/exploratoriu. Ascultarea empatic\u0103 are mult de-a face cu psihoterapia (centrat\u0103 pe persoan\u0103), dar nu se restr\u00e2nge la ea. C\u0103ut\u00e2nd s\u0103 m\u0103 g\u00e2ndesc la ascultarea empatic\u0103 din mai multe perspective, am ajuns la elemente de baz\u0103 ale rela\u021bion\u0103rii umane, la percep\u021bie \u0219i tr\u0103irea frumosului, la felul \u00een care ne raport\u0103m la noi \u00een\u0219ine \u0219i la ceilal\u021bi, la izolare \u0219i la singur\u0103tate; am ajuns cu g\u00e2ndul la Univers<\/a> \u0219i la locul nostru \u00een el, \u0219i la conceptul de \u201eflux<\/a>\u201d descris \u0219i cercetat de Mih\u00e1ly Cs\u00edkszentmih\u00e1lyi… Nu am loc s\u0103 scriu despre toate aici, \u0219i cu siguran\u021b\u0103 mai sunt multe altele. Dar ce vreau s\u0103 spun de fapt este c\u0103 merit\u0103 s\u0103 ne g\u00e2ndim la ascultarea empatic\u0103 \u0219i la ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 ea pentru noi, \u0219i mai ales – s\u0103 o tr\u0103im.<\/p>\n

Cu ce s\u0103 \u00eencep? Carl Rogers a vorbit<\/a> \u0219i a scris despre ascultarea empatic\u0103 aproape de-a lungul \u00eentregii sale cariere. De atunci, dar cu siguran\u021b\u0103 \u0219i \u00eenainte de el, s-au scris, \u00eenregistrat, creat probabil milioane de c\u0103r\u021bi, articole, dezbateri, prezent\u0103ri, poezii, p\u0103reri, principii, filosofii de via\u021b\u0103 \u0219.a.m.d. despre ascultarea empatic\u0103! Am mai scris \u0219i eu despre ea (implicit)<\/span>, atunci c\u00e2nd am vorbit despre empatie<\/a>. Dar a\u0219 \u00eencepe totu\u0219i acest articol dintr-o alt\u0103 direc\u021bie – de la ascultarea \u00een sine.<\/p>\n

Evelyn Glennie \u0219i-a pierdut auzul la v\u00e2rsta de 12 ani \u0219i este \u00een acela\u0219i timp una dintre cele mai talentate percu\u021bioniste din lume. \u00cen 2003, ea a f\u0103cut o prezentare \u00een cadrul TED<\/a>\u00a0despre ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 s\u0103 ascult\u0103m cu adev\u0103rat. Ea spunea c\u0103 de fapt ascult\u0103m nu numai cu urechile, ci cu \u00eentreg corpul,\u00a0rezon\u0103m. Desigur, acest lucru se poate explica u\u0219or prin faptul c\u0103 sunetele sunt de fapt unde, vibra\u021bii la care suntem expu\u0219i \u0219i sensibili peste tot, nu numai la nivel auricular. \u0218i de mult\u0103 vreme se \u0219tie c\u0103 persoanele care \u0219i-au pierdut auzul pot percepe sunetele prin intermediul vibra\u021biilor pe care le produc, dezvolt\u00e2ndu-\u0219i compensator aceast\u0103 capacitate de cunoa\u0219tere a mediului \u00eentr-un mod mai amplu, mai precis \u0219i cu mai mult\u0103 fine\u021be dec\u00e2t ar face-o persoanele obi\u0219nuite.<\/p>\n

Dar Evelyn Glennie mai vorbe\u0219te despre ceva, \u0219i aici pot s\u0103 fac leg\u0103tura cu conceptul de \u201eflux\u201d (\u201eflow\u201d<\/a>, \u00een englez\u0103)<\/span>. Este vorba despre a asculta (\u00een cazul nostru; conceptul de \u201eflux\u201d se poate aplica \u00eens\u0103 oric\u0103rei activit\u0103\u021bi) cu inten\u021bie \u0219i cu aten\u021bie, fiind cu totul prezen\u021bi \u0219i receptivi. Evelyn Glennie d\u0103 la un moment dat un exemplu frumos: \u00eentreab\u0103 cum se aude sunetul unui tunet, sau al z\u0103pezii, sau al ploii. Ea \u00eei roag\u0103 pe participan\u021bii la prezentare s\u0103 imite sunetul respectiv, cu mijloacele pe care le au la dispozi\u021bie: propriul corp \u0219i lucrurile obi\u0219nuite din jur. Ce mi se pare frumos la exemplul pe care \u00eel d\u0103 este simplitatea \u0219i \u00een acela\u0219i timp profunzimea lui. Cu to\u021bii am auzit la un moment dat sunetul tunetului, sau ploaia. \u0218i cu to\u021bii le-am ascultat la un moment dat – cu aten\u021bia concentrat\u0103 asupra lor, \u00eentrerup\u00e2ndu-ne din ceea ce facem pentru a asculta acele sunete, cu urechile ciulite – \u0219i cu to\u021bii am sim\u021bit \u00een corpul nostru cum sun\u0103. Tunetul poate ne-a f\u0103cut s\u0103 tres\u0103rim, \u0219i ploaia… lua\u021bi-v\u0103 un pic de timp \u0219i \u00eencerca\u021bi s\u0103 va aduce\u021bi aminte ultima oar\u0103 c\u00e2nd chiar a\u021bi ascultat ploaia. Cum v-a\u021bi sim\u021bit atunci, \u00een corp? Ce p\u0103r\u021bi ale corpului au rezonat mai puternic cu sunetul ei?…<\/p>\n

Ca s\u0103 putem reproduce sau imita un sunet, trebuie ca mai \u00eent\u00e2i s\u0103 \u00eel fi ascultat cu aten\u021bie. Reproducerea sau imita\u021bia pe care o facem apoi este ceva al nostru, personal, despre ceea ce am ascultat. Nu avem cum s\u0103 reproducem exact sunetul unui tunet, pentru c\u0103 nu suntem nori. Dar putem ajunge destul de aproape<\/a>.<\/p>\n

Tot cam a\u0219a este \u0219i cu ascultarea empatic\u0103. S\u0103 ascult\u0103m empatic pe cineva \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u00een primul r\u00e2nd s\u0103 ne concentr\u0103m aten\u021bia, inten\u021bionat \u0219i sus\u021binut, asupra persoanei respective (\u0219i nu numai asupra a ceea ce spune). \u00censeamn\u0103 s\u0103 fim receptivi \u0219i deschi\u0219i la ea, persoan\u0103 diferit\u0103, cu o alt\u0103 experien\u021b\u0103 dec\u00e2t a noastr\u0103. S\u0103 nu vrem s\u0103 intervenim \u00een vreun fel asupra ei, la fel cum nu intervenim asupra sunetului ploii sau al tunetului.<\/p>\n

Ca apoi s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem mai bine ceea ce spune, ajut\u0103 s\u0103 \u00eei \u00een\u021belegem cadrul de referin\u021b\u0103 – contextul ei de via\u021b\u0103, felul \u00een care prive\u0219te lumea, ce sens au lucrurile pentru ea \u00een general, \u0219i \u00een cazul specific despre care vorbe\u0219te. La fel, ca s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem mai bine sunetul unui tunet ne ajut\u0103 s\u0103 \u00een\u021belegem cum se formeaz\u0103 el, ce \u00eel produce, \u0219i \u00een ce condi\u021bii. Ajut\u0103 s\u0103 spunem din c\u00e2nd \u00een c\u00e2nd ce am \u00een\u021beles din ceea ce a spus cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103, p\u0103str\u00e2ndu-ne c\u00e2t mai aproape de experien\u021ba ei, dar av\u00e2nd mereu \u00een minte c\u0103 suntem diferi\u021bi – la fel cum \u0219tim, atunci c\u00e2nd \u00eencerc\u0103m s\u0103 reproducem sunetul tunetului, c\u0103 suntem oameni \u0219i nu nori.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 \u00eentreb de ce a asculta empatic pe cineva nu este de obicei at\u00e2t de simplu cu a asculta sunetul ploii. Sunt cu siguran\u021b\u0103 multe r\u0103spunsuri, dar cel care \u00eemi vine acum \u00een minte are de-a face cu propriile noastre semnifica\u021bii. O s\u0103 intru un pic \u00een alt domeniu, ca s\u0103 ilustrez ce vreau s\u0103 spun – cel al explor\u0103rii Universului. (\u0219i \u00eemi dau seama c\u0103 m\u0103 cam scarpin cu m\u00e2na dreapt\u0103 la urechea st\u00e2ng\u0103, dar nu m\u0103 pot ab\u021bine)<\/span><\/p>\n

Sunt multe feluri \u00een care putem afla despre Univers, \u0219i unul dintre ele este s\u0103-l ascult\u0103m<\/a>. De exemplu, a\u0219a<\/a> am ajuns s\u0103 credem c\u0103 \u00een centrul galaxiei noastre este o gaur\u0103 neagr\u0103 supermasiv\u0103<\/a>. Ne preg\u0103tim s\u0103 ascult\u0103m c\u00e2t mai bine construind antene din ce \u00een ce mai performante, a\u0219tept\u0103m, suntem \u00een permanen\u021b\u0103 aten\u021bi la ce semnale am putea prinde. Ca \u00een cazul tuturor mijloacelor de cunoa\u0219tere, prin ascultare descoperim ceva despre lucrul pe care \u00eel ascult\u0103m, \u00eei \u00een\u021belegem procesele, putem descrie caracteristici ale sale, afl\u0103m lucruri intime despre el. \u00cens\u0103 de cele mai multe ori, nu ne oprim aici. Dup\u0103 ce ne-am preg\u0103tit s\u0103 ascult\u0103m, dup\u0103 ce am ascultat c\u00e2t de clar \u0219i de exact am putut, \u0219i dup\u0103 ce am \u00een\u021beles c\u00e2t mai precis ceea ce am g\u0103sit, urmeaz\u0103 o \u00eentrebare: ce sens are pentru noi? Cum ne afecteaz\u0103? (Va \u00eenghi\u021bi la un moment dat gaura neagr\u0103 din centrul C\u0103ii Lactee \u00eentreaga galaxie, \u0219i P\u0103m\u00e2ntul odat\u0103 cu ea? Suntem \u00een siguran\u021b\u0103? Ce rol a avut aceast\u0103 gaur\u0103 neagr\u0103 \u00een formarea galaxiei noastre? Unde suntem noi fa\u021b\u0103 de toate acestea? Cine suntem noi \u00een Univers, de unde venim \u0219i \u00eencotro ne \u00eendrept\u0103m?…) \u0218i r\u0103spunsul la aceste \u00eentreb\u0103ri din urm\u0103 ne poate influen\u021ba mai departe felul \u00een care ascult\u0103m \u0219i \u00een care \u00een\u021belegem ceea ce ascult\u0103m.<\/span><\/span><\/p>\n

E o mare diferen\u021b\u0103 \u00eentre felul \u00een care ne raport\u0103m acum la tunete, sau la comete de exemplu, \u0219i felul \u00een care se raportau la ele oamenii de dinaintea descoperirilor care au f\u0103cut posibil\u0103 \u00een\u021belegerea lor mai aproape de realitatea acestor fenomene, \u00een sine. \u0218i de fapt, descoperirile au fost posibile tocmai pentru c\u0103 am fost deschi\u0219i la realitatea din jurul nostru, a\u0219a cum este ea, \u0219i nu a\u0219a cum o doream noi s\u0103 fie, sau credeam pur \u0219i simplu c\u0103 este. Propriile noastre credin\u021be, temeri, speran\u021be \u0219i semnifica\u021bii au stat \u00een calea descoperii realit\u0103\u021bii din jurul nostru.<\/p>\n

M\u0103 \u00eentorc de departe \u00eenapoi la ascultarea empatic\u0103, p\u0103str\u00e2nd paralela cu explorarea Universului. Pe de o parte, ea este limitat\u0103 de propriile noastre capacit\u0103\u021bi – ceea ce putem auzi acum, cu antenele din prezent \u0219i cu numeroasele echipe preg\u0103tite s\u0103 lucreze \u00een acest domeniu, este mult mai mult, mai clar, mai precis dec\u00e2t puteam auzi \u00een 1932<\/a>. Vestea bun\u0103 este c\u0103, la fel cum ne putem perfec\u021biona mijloacele de ascultare a Universului, ne putem perfec\u021biona \u0219i capacit\u0103\u021bile de a asculta empatic, exers\u00e2nd-o \u0219i investind energie \u00een asta.<\/p>\n

Pe de alt\u0103 parte, ea este limitat\u0103 de \u00een\u021belegerea noastr\u0103 actual\u0103 asupra realit\u0103\u021bii, \u0219i a semnifica\u021biei pe care i-o d\u0103m. Am stat la un moment dat de vorb\u0103 cu un copil care cel mai probabil locuia pe strad\u0103. Nu mai \u0219tiu \u00een ce context, am pronun\u021bat cuv\u00e2ntul \u201esperan\u021b\u0103\u201d \u0219i el m-a \u00eentrebat ce \u00eenseamn\u0103. Mi-a fost foarte greu s\u0103 \u00eei explic, \u0219i p\u00e2n\u0103 la urm\u0103 nu cred c\u0103 a \u00een\u021beles. Dup\u0103 un timp, mi-a zis c\u0103 \u00eei place umbrela mea, mi-a cerut-o, \u0219i i-am dat-o. A fugit imediat dup\u0103 aceea cu ea, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 spun\u0103 mul\u021bumesc. M-a surprins foarte tare \u0219i mi-a fost foarte greu s\u0103 \u00een\u021beleg cum copilul acela nu avea cuv\u00e2ntul \u201esperan\u021b\u0103\u201d \u00een vocabularul lui, \u0219i de ce n-a mai stat cu mine de vorb\u0103 \u0219i dup\u0103 ce i-am dat umbrela, \u0219i de ce nu mi-a mul\u021bumit m\u0103car – cum m-a\u0219 fi a\u0219teptat eu.<\/p>\n

Este foarte greu s\u0103 trecem dincolo de propria experien\u021b\u0103 – cea care ne spune c\u0103 soarele r\u0103sare \u0219i apune \u00een fiecare zi, cea care nu aude sunetele venite din spa\u021biu, cea care nu vede dioxidul de carbon care ne tope\u0219te ghe\u021barii, cea care tresare la auzul sunetelor puternice ca tunetul, cea care sper\u0103 ca ziua de m\u00e2ine s\u0103 fie mai bun\u0103, cea care ne \u00eendeamn\u0103 s\u0103 fim aten\u021bi \u00een c\u00e2t mai multe locuri ca s\u0103 facem fa\u021b\u0103, cea care ne pune pe noi \u00een prim plan, \u00een centrul universului nostru.<\/p>\n

\u0218i totu\u0219i, asta facem ascult\u00e2nd empatic. Trecem dincolo de propria experien\u021b\u0103, deschiz\u00e2ndu-ne la a celuilalt. \u0218i mai e ceva, un ingredient absolut esen\u021bial: compasiunea, non-intruziunea, non-violen\u021ba<\/a>, inima deschis\u0103. C\u00e2nd ascult\u0103m inten\u021bionat, cu aten\u021bia concentrat\u0103, fiind cu totul prezen\u021bi \u0219i receptivi la cealalt\u0103 persoan\u0103, \u0219i av\u00e2nd compasiune fa\u021b\u0103 de ea \u0219i pre\u021buind-o, o sprijinim<\/a> s\u0103 se cunoasc\u0103, s\u0103 se valorizeze, s\u0103 se accepte, s\u0103 creasc\u0103, s\u0103-\u0219i g\u0103seasc\u0103 propriile solu\u021bii \u0219i c\u0103i de ac\u021biune, s\u0103 fac\u0103 alegeri mai bine informate \u0219i mai bune, s\u0103 fie mai liber\u0103.<\/p>\n

\u0218i putem \u00eencepe chiar cu noi \u00een\u0219ine. S\u0103 ne \u00eenchipuim c\u0103 toate c\u00e2te ni se \u00eent\u00e2mpl\u0103 \u0219i ceea ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 ele pentru noi sunt ca o ploaie, \u00een care noi st\u0103m \u0219i pe care o ascult\u0103m a\u0219a cum am asculta o ploaie obi\u0219nuit\u0103, \u0219i folosindu-ne \u00eentreg corpul, nu numai urechile. F\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 vrem s\u0103 \u00eei schimb\u0103m sunetul, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 o consider\u0103m bun\u0103 sau rea, util\u0103 sau stingheritoare, f\u0103r\u0103 s\u0103 ne spunem c\u0103 ar trebui s\u0103 fie \u00eentr-un fel sau \u00een altul, \u0219i deschiz\u00e2ndu-ne inima fa\u021b\u0103 de ea.<\/p>\n

E\u00a0diferit fa\u021b\u0103 de a asculta o alt\u0103 persoan\u0103, pentru c\u0103 atunci c\u00e2nd ascult\u0103m pe altcineva, e ca \u0219i cum am asculta ploaia st\u00e2nd undeva la ad\u0103post. C\u00e2nd ne ascult\u0103m pe noi \u00een\u0219ine, suntem \u00een ploaie. Ne ud\u0103m, putem fi g\u00e2dila\u021bi sau lovi\u021bi de pic\u0103turi, poate \u00eenc\u0103lzi\u021bi de soarele care str\u0103luce\u0219te printre pic\u0103turi, sau poate du\u0219i cu totul de torent. E \u00een regul\u0103. C\u0103ci inevitabil ploaia se va opri la un moment dat, \u0219i noi vom fi tr\u0103it experien\u021ba ei, cunosc\u00e2nd-o \u00een am\u0103nunt, \u0219i fiind \u00eembog\u0103\u021bi\u021bi de ea. \u0218i dac\u0103 chiar sim\u021bim c\u0103 suntem pe cale s\u0103 ne \u00eenec\u0103m, putem apela \u00eentotdeauna la cineva care s\u0103 ne ajute. Cineva care s\u0103 ne asculte empatic – fie c\u0103 este sau nu un psihoterapeut.<\/p>\n

\u0218i acum, la sf\u00e2r\u0219itul acestui lung articol (\u0219i un pic dezl\u00e2nat, a\u0219 zice)<\/span>, v\u0103 las cu\u00a0\u00eentrebarea pe care o vom pune vineri, pe 21 octombrie 2016, \u00een cadrul evenimentului pentru \u201eZiua Ascult\u0103rii Empatice\u201d de la Seneca AntiCafe: \u201ecum te sim\u021bi \u00een lume \u0219i \u00een via\u021b\u0103?\u201d. \u0218i v\u0103 a\u0219tept acolo! Ve\u021bi primi, pe l\u00e2ng\u0103 20 de minute de ascultare empatic\u0103, \u0219i un ghid cu informa\u021bii care s\u0103 v\u0103 ajute s\u0103 deveni\u021bi la r\u00e2ndul vostru ascult\u0103tori din ce \u00een ce mai empatici.<\/p>\n

P.S.: G\u0103si\u021bi aici<\/a> mai multe detalii despre workshopul pentru studen\u021bi, aici<\/a> despre evenimentul de la Seneca AntiCafe \u0219i aici<\/a> despre Ziua Mondial\u0103 a Ascult\u0103rii.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pe 21 octombrie este\u00a0Ziua Mondial\u0103 a Ascult\u0103rii, \u0219i o s\u0103rb\u0103torim \u0219i \u00een Bucure\u0219ti, drept \u201eZiua Ascult\u0103rii Empatice\u201d. Vineri la pr\u00e2nz, \u00eentre 11:00 \u0219i 13:00, preg\u0103tim un workshop pentru studen\u021bi din cadrul facult\u0103\u021bii de psihologie, iar pe sear\u0103, \u00eentre 18:00 \u0219i 21:00 v\u0103 a\u0219tept \u00eempreun\u0103 cu colegii mei din Asocia\u021bia Rom\u00e2n\u0103 de Psihoterapie Centrat\u0103 pe Persoan\u0103\u00a0la … Continue reading Ascultarea empatic\u0103 – de ziua ei, 21 octombrie<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":143,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"Pe 21 octombrie s\u0103rb\u0103torim Ziua Ascult\u0103rii Empatice! V\u0103 invit s\u0103 v\u0103 g\u00e2ndi\u021bi \u00eempreun\u0103 cu mine la ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u0219i presupune ascultarea empatic\u0103, \u0219i mai ales, s\u0103 o tr\u0103im! \r\nEu v\u0103 voi a\u0219tepta pe 21 octombrie, \u00eentre 18:00 \u0219i 21:00, la Seneca AntiCafe, special pentru asta!","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[1],"tags":[45,15,12,46],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"yoast_head":"\nAscultarea empatic\u0103 - de ziua ei, 21 octombrie - Ozana Miron<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"De Ziua Mondial\u0103 a Ascult\u0103rii s\u0103 ne g\u00e2ndim la ce \u00eenseamn\u0103 \u0219i presupune ascultarea empatic\u0103 \u0219i mai ales s\u0103 o tr\u0103im \u0219i s\u0103 o exers\u0103m cu ceilal\u021bi \u0219i cu noi!\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/ozanamiron.ro\/blog\/ascultarea-empatica\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Ascultarea empatic\u0103 - 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